Androgynous
by Queen-Cocaine
Summary: AU: ...First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and I didn't know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, he was unconditionally and irrevocably...straight. A twist on Twilight. Male!Bella EB Slash
1. Homo

**_Wow, I don't really know what to say about this. I can't actually remember where the idea came from, only that it's been in the back of my mind for a while now. I blame_** **_Gravitation. I'm pretty sure it's the only Twilight fic of its kind. I could be wrong. This is Twilight with a twist. The twist being male!Bella AKA Beau Swan, Beau being the closest name to Bella I could think of. It was originally short for Ichabod (as in Isabella/Ichabod) but I might change it to Beaumont. Any ideas?_**_**  
**_**__****Updates will most likely be sparse at first, I'm at university and we're on the brink of our exams, I'll be studying for most of the month of June, though, knowing me I'll probably start writing fiction as a 'de-stressor' instead of working. Anyways, read on and review; I'd love to hear what you think about the story. I use bits from the actual book at first, just to get the characterisation.**_** For those who noticed, I took out the prelude, it doesn't really go with the direction I want to go with this. **_

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**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter One-_

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiais gayhomophobiaisgayhomophobia isgayhomophobiaisgayhomophob iaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomoph obiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

My mother drove me to the airport, an awkward silence existing between us, filling up with the things we weren't saying to each other.

I was wearing my favourite shirt; a tight white wife-beater with the words 'I don't even think straight' emblazoned in rainbow writing across the front. One last dig at my step-father Phil before I was exiled from my sunny home in Phoenix to what had to be the bad weather capital of the US.

"Beau," My mother said to me, perhaps for the sixth million time. "You don't have to do this you know. Say the word and I'll take you right back home." She half-turned in her seat, her belly making it hard to navigate past the steering wheel. "We can work something out, you don't need to leave."

I didn't answer. It didn't matter if I did or not; Renee never heard anything she didn't want to. Instead I rubbed the small bump of her stomach. "Here's hoping this one's straight." I teased, pressing a kiss to her belly. "Otherwise it might find itself out of a home too."

Renee shot me a hurt-filled look. "Would you please not talk like that? Phil loves you."

I rolled my eyes.

"He does!" She insisted, her naive blue eyes wide.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "He just didn't want to share his home with a faggot."

Renee winced at the word. "Don't, Beau. Please?"

I sighed but complied. I leant forward and checked my reflection in the rear-view mirror. The snake bites I had recently had pierced, another attempt to get under my step-father's skin, were still slightly inflamed, though not as much as my ear.

I had recently graduated to a 0-gauge stretcher in my right ear; a celebration present to myself for finally getting kicked out.

Renee looked at my cherry red ear, and the large spike protruding through it in exasperation. "I don't know why you do that to yourself. You have beautiful ears, sweetie."

"They're just ears." I replied, prodding an experimental finger at the inflamed flesh. I suppressed a cringe when my whole ear burned. "The fact that it pisses off Phil is just a bonus." I added.

She sighed but didn't address my barb at her husband. Instead she turned again to the topic that started it all. "Maybe your relationship with him would improve if you could make an effort?"

Immediately any good will I was feeling towards my mother vanished and I sank back into the seat in disgust.

"It doesn't work like that." I reminded her.

"Well what about those camp things?" She suggested. "Couldn't you go to one of those? The...what are they called...Gay Reform Programs?"

"Renee," I said, ignoring her grimace at my using her first name. I don't think either of us could remember when I stopped calling her 'mom'. "There's no such thing as a 'gay reform program'. It's just a fraudulent camp for Christian teens in denial."

Renee's face crumpled. "Well couldn't you at least _try_ it?"

I closed my eyes; despite whatever resentment I felt towards Renee for choosing her husband over his first child I still hated to see my child-like mother cry.

I felt a small pang, what would she be like when I was gone? Then I remembered; she had Phil now. Phil was with her so the bills would probably be paid, the fridge full of food, gas in the car and she would have someone to call when she got lost.

Phil would look after Renee; despite his feelings towards me I knew he loved my mother. It made the thought of my approaching exile easier to bear now that I knew Renee would be fine.

I opened my eyes just in time to see the towers of Phoenix Sky Harbour looming up ahead. I kept my gaze on the airport while Renee sniffed away the last of her spontaneous crying session beside me.

The silence grew again as Renee spent a few minutes looking for a park amongst the surplus of vehicles. It seemed everybody and their cousin was getting a flight today.

At least I wouldn't be lonely.

We sat in the parked car for a moment before Renee took another breath and turned to me. "Renee," I cut her off before she could start up the 'you don't need to do this' shit again. "I _want_ to go. Honestly." I wasn't a good liar by any means, but I'd been saying the lie to her so frequently over the last few days that it almost sounded believable by now.

Renee began sniffing again. "I know," She swiped angrily at her eyes. "Stupid hormones." She reached out a hand and stroked my check softly. Just like she used to do when I was little. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." I whispered.

Renee steeled herself. "Okay, now remember to pull your weight around the house; I don't want to hear of any slacking off. Brush your teeth, wash behind you ears. And most importantly,"

I tried hard to suppress any ill-will I had towards her for what she was about to say. Don't commit matricide; I told myself, she's a pregnant woman.

"Don't tell Charlie about...you know."

"No I don't know." I said. Maybe baiting her was a little petty, but it was better than outright hitting her.

Renee looked uncomfortable. "I mean your..._affliction_."

I deadpanned. "I'm not sick, Renee."

Renee sighed. "Beau, please."

I conceded. "Fine, I get it. Lie to my father about being a raging homosexual."

Renee if possible, looked even more discomfited than before. "I only want what's best for you. I want this to work out with your father...for your sake."

"Even if I have to lie to him?" I asked bitterly.

"Honey, Charlie's from a small town. I don't know how open-minded he would be about it."

"Open-minded like...Phil?" I said sarcastically. Renee looked pained. "Look, I get it Renee. Don't tell Charlie." I opened the car door. "I got to go, don't want to miss my flight." I left before she could kiss me goodbye.

It was a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles and then an hour's drive back down to Forks. Flying doesn't particularly bother me; I'd charged my iPod before I left, but it was the hour in the car with Charlie I was not looking forward to. I couldn't just block him out with my music.

Despite not seeing him often I actually liked my dad. But neither of us were what you would call verbose. Though he was pleased with my 'decision' I knew he would be a little confused as to my reasoning.

Since I could remember, I had spent a month every summer in Forks until I was fourteen. That was the year I put my foot down. The past three summers Charlie vacationed with me in California instead. I had not made my distaste for Forks unknown.

So it must have come completely out of the blue for Charlie when he got the phone call that told him he was to become my full-time caregiver, especially with how evasive Renee was bound to be on the subject.

He was still really nice about it; he'd registered me in the local high school and promised to help me find a car.

When I landed in Port Angeles it was already raining. I didn't see it as an omen; it was simply unavoidable. I put up my hood as I got outside; I'd straightened my hair in Phoenix and the rain would just destroy my hard work.

Charlie was waiting outside next to the cruiser; that was kind of expected too. Charlie was the Police Chief of Forks. Dream big.

The cruiser itself was my primary motivation for buying a car. I wasn't lacking in funds; having been doused in guilt money by Renee over the last few miserable weeks in Phoenix. I refused to be driven around in a car that flashed blue and red lights.

Charlie was still looking around as I approached. I didn't know if he hadn't recognised me because of the hood or the fact I had changed so much since we last saw each other. Charlie himself hadn't changed a bit. He still had his greying brown curls and the chocolate eyes that were one of the few physical things I inherited from him.

I'd been told throughout my life how much I resembled my mother. Perhaps if I were her daughter I wouldn't have minded. But being born a boy just led to constant teasing throughout my schooling for my 'sissy' looks.

We shared the same heart-shaped face and wide eyes. The same prominent cheekbones tapering down to a narrow jaw with a pointed chin. My lips were embarrassing rosebuds against my pale skin; perhaps a little out of proportion and way to feminine. Not that seemed a problem at my old school where people constantly fussed over my lips much to my mortification. Some of the bolder boys would teasingly contemplate as to whether my lips felt as soft and feminine as they looked.

The social awkwardness I inherited from Charlie. My mother was never lacking in friends, no matter what city we moved too. People just flocked to her, attracted by her positivity. Much to my distaste, people flocked to me attracted by my homosexuality. Everyone loves the token gay guy.

The coordination issues were all my own. To my chagrin, both my parents were perfectly balanced with Renee flitting from one exercise obsession to another; yoga to track to hiking, while Charlie needed to keep in shape for his job. I'd don't think they'd trust him around a loaded gun if he had even half the amount of clumsiness I did.

Charlie gave a jolt of surprise when I came into his line of vision. "Beau?" He asked surprised.

"Hey Ch-Dad." I said back, accepting the abrupt pat on the shoulder he gave me.

"You look different." He eyed me up. "Your mother know about those?" he gave vague gestures towards his mouth. I realised he meant my piercings.

I shrugged. "Yeah."

Charlie frowned but evidently decided that if Renee hadn't kicked up a fuss then he wasn't going to.

I took off my hoodie once we got under the dry cover of the cruiser. Charlie gave another once-over at me. "You did something with your hair." He commented.

I tugged on one of the dyed strands self-consciously. Another one of my reminders to Phil. I had bleached parts of my chocolate brown hair, giving it a two-toned effect. I was assured by all my female friends, especially Cass who was the one who did the dye job, that it was the height of 'cool'. I'd shrugged off their compliments; being popular had never really appealed to me like it had my mother.

I belatedly forgot about my gay pride t-shirt. Charlie glanced at it but said nothing more. I guess he thought it was a teenage fashion thing and was relieved when he didn't say anything. It occurred to me that maybe he wasn't as homophobic as Renee seemed to think.

But I wasn't going to take chances. I decided that I would do nothing to hide the real me, if he guessed than that was that. That way I wouldn't be breaking my promise to Renee.

Charlie changed the subject, just as the silence in the car was beginning to get uncomfortable. I was grateful to him. "I found a good car for you, really cheap." He announced. "Well, a truck really."

My interest was piqued. "What kind of truck?" I was suspicious of the way he said 'good for you' as opposed to just 'good car'.

"Chevy." He grunted in reply. "Got it from Billy Black, you remember, down at La Push."

I scoured my memory. La Push was a tiny Indian Reserve down the coast so it stood to reason that Mr. Billy Black was Indian. I could remember meeting some Indians on the few occasions I went down there. But Billy in particular skipped my mind.

"He used to go fishing with us in the summer." Charlie prompted.

"Is his wife the pretty one? Starts with an 'S'?" I asked, a conjuring a memory of one of Charlie's fishing buddies.

"Sue?" Charlie shook his head. "No, that's Harry. You used to play with Billy's boy; Jacob."

A flash of a small russet-skinned boy chasing me around the reserve, demanding I be the damsel he rescued came clear in my mind. "I remember." I said darkly.

'He's in a wheelchair now." Charlie continued.

"Who, Jacob?" I asked surprised. Sure I'd wished bad things on him when he forced me into one of his sister's dresses but I didn't actually mean it.

"No, Billy." Charlie huffed. Clearly he was getting annoyed at the interruptions. I wisely stayed silent and let him continue. "Anyway, he can't drive anymore and he offered me the truck cheap so I brought it for you, a welcome home present."

I shrugged; a free car was a free car. I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth – or engine, and at least the truck would save me the shame of being driven to school in a police cruiser every day. Plus I got to keep my guilt fund from Renee. I was already thinking up uses for it.

"Thanks Charlie." I said with genuine gratitude. "It's a nice present."

Charlie looked suspicious as if he thought I was going to kick up more of a fuss than that. I smiled at him and leant across the window, watching the scenery pass by. It was certainly beautiful, I couldn't deny that. But everything was green; too green. Like the inside of some long forgotten fridge.

Eventually we made it to Charlie's. He lived in the same two-bedroom house he's brought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only days their marriage had; the early ones.

The house was a sturdy Victorian structure with peeling white washboards and a forest surrounding the back. It, like everything else, was exactly as I remembered it. Only last time I visited it hadn't had the large red truck outside.

With a jolt I realised that it was _my _big red truck. And an even greater surprise came when I realised that I loved it already. Now I knew what Charlie had meant when he said that it was a good truck for me. This was the kind of car you'd see at an accidently totally unharmed with the scraps of the other car surrounding it.

It was perfect but I wasn't entirely sure it would run. "How old did you say it was?" I asked Charlie.

From his face I knew this was the question he'd hoped I wouldn't ask. "Early sixties, last fifties." He admitted sheepishly. "Billy brought it in '84. Did a lot of work on the engine. It works like a charm." He added defensively as if I were going to debate the validity of his friend's mechanic work. "They don't make them like this anymore, son."

I shrugged. "Fine with me." He looked doubtful again so I added. "I just wanted to know that it worked. Apart from that it's perfect."

He avoided my gaze and stared straight ahead, a slight flush tickling the edge of his collar. "Just want you to be happy here." He muttered gruffly, embarrassed.

I smiled at him. "Don't worry dad, I am." A total lie, but I wasn't going to admit that. I could handle being miserable by myself, I didn't want to drag Charlie down with me. At the moment he was the best parent I had.

It took a single trip to get all my worldly possessions upstairs to the smaller bedroom. Charlie had obviously gone out of his way to redecorate the best he could. Especially under such short notice.

Gone were the yellowed lace curtains and the small cot-like bed. He'd added a small double bed which was now the predominant feature in the room apart from the old writing desk upon which sat an ancient computer. I decided to buy myself a laptop and some decent broadband as soon as I could get the chance.

He kept the faded blue wallpaper and the old rocking chair still sat in the corner. I didn't mind, the chair had been one of my favourite aspects of the room.

I heard Charlie shuffle in behind me as I was taking in the room. "You can redecorate however you want." He told me. "I can get some paints from the hardware store; we can make it a weekend job."

I nodded at him and dropped my duffle bag on the floor. "Sure thing Charlie, it'll be a real father-son bonding time." I nodded encouragingly at him. I was trying hard to make him see how grateful I was, in case the whole gay thing ever blew up in my face. But living with Renee and Phil had sapped me of my regard for adults, so showing Charlie the proper respect took a lot of effort.

I think he saw that though, because he gave me a small smile of his own. "You'll be tired from your flight." He clapped me on the shoulder. "I'll let you get some sleep. School starts in the morning so be up early, okay?"

I nodded again to show my consent and waited for him to leave the room so I could finally breathe. Luckily Charlie wasn't the type to hover, much unlike my other parent, and he left me in peace pretty quickly. It was a relief, it gave me a chance to sit on my bed and let a few belated tears escape.

With another sigh I brushed away my sadness and opened my first bag, retrieving my favourite _Victoria Francis_ poster. School was tomorrow, but first I was going to spend my energies redecorating my childhood room.

* * *

_**And there we are, chapter one. I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to hearing any feedback and suggestions. Next chapter Beau goes to school and finds out what Forks High School thinks of him...**_

_**Being bisexuals doubles your changes for a Saturday night date...**_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	2. Fairy

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

**.Androgynous.**

-

_-Chapter Two-_

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

-

I woke early in the morning after a night of insomnia; the constant screaming of the wind across the roof echoed in my ears until the early hours of the morning when I finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

When I looked out the window thick fog was all I could see; covering the window like a giant cotton ball. I suppressed a shudder of claustrophobia and forced myself to leave the warm confines of my bed, intent on having the first shower.

Charlie was waiting impatiently by the time I got out and he looked at me pointedly when a rush of steam accompanied me through the bathroom door. I muttered an apology and almost ran back into my bedroom, an old towel secured tight around my waist.

I looked over my spread of clothing, unsure as to what kind of look I wanted to project onto my new classmates. It had been drilled into me by my mother that first impressions were important; there was never a second chance to make them.

In my experiences I'd found that very rarely did people live up to their first impressions. There were too many layers in the human psyche to be read at a glance. Case in point: Phil.

I had thought he was a decent guy at first, much better than some of my mother's previous choices. Renee was not known for her taste in men. But once he caught me with my hands down another boy's pants something changed within him. He hated me overnight. I guess his homophobic jock genes were too strong to resist.

This was all under the nose of Renee at first, until the animosity between us grew so large that even my blithe carefree mother noticed. Phil then outed me without a second thought. Renee tried to stay neutral, even taking my side on occasion which in turn put a strain on their relationship.

It all changed; however, when Renee found out that her stomach flu was actually a pregnancy. Immediately she went into overdrive in an attempt to save her marriage both for herself and her future child. She immediately took Phil's side in every single one of our disagreements, no matter where the blame actually lay.

It was all too simple for Phil to suggest that perhaps I would be happier living with my father, in Forks. A two second hesitation came from my mother before her mask came back on and she was full-heartedly agreeing with him once more.

I shook my head of the bitter memories and looked over my clothing once more, selecting the plainest black shirt I owned and a pair of jeans. Just because I didn't put any faith in first impressions didn't mean that everyone else wouldn't.

I ran the flat-iron through my hair once more, fixing any pieces that had fallen out of place in either sleep or from the ever encompassing morning fog. I selected something called 'hair mud' from the array of products Cass had gifted me and used it to spike up the back of my hair as she had taught me. I ran a quick stroke of black eyeliner over the bottom rim of my eye, only poking myself with the pencil once. I gave one last look at my reflection, eye still watering, and came downstairs for breakfast.

Charlie wasn't down yet and so I grabbed an apple, called goodbye and made for the door, pausing and grabbing a raincoat as I took in the drizzling grey sky. Living in rainy Forks would take some getting used to.

I flipped my hood up and ran for the warm cab of my not-so-new truck, feeling the misty wet seep into my clothes. It wasn't warm in the truck but it was dry and for that I was grateful. I was even more grateful, and admittedly surprised, when the Chevy started on the first turn though it started with a roar at top-volume.

The antique radio worked which was a bonus I wasn't expecting. Though the selection of radio stations was sparse, I eventually settled on a channel churning out mainstream music and moved slowly out of the gravel driveway.

I found out pretty fast that the Chevy did not like to go anything exceeding 50mph but I didn't mind; Forks had little motive for speeding. Being a small town, everything was closer together.

I found the school with ease, though I'd never been there before. It was only the sign proclaiming it _Forks High School – Home to the Mighty Cocks!_ that made me stop. I admittedly stifled a laugh when I saw the sign, but if they hadn't noticed the innuendo then I certainly wasn't going to open their eyes to it.

The school itself was a series of cheerful maroon buildings so filled with shrubbery and trees that I couldn't get a proper indication of its size at first. It was a far cry from the tall solemn grey slab of my former high school that was for sure.

I was early and so had my pick of the limited parking spaces. I chose the one nearest a building I'd noticed before with a small sign over the door reading 'FRONT OFFICE'. It would be my first stop and I didn't want to be out in the rain anymore than I had to.

I was still overly-early from my hasty departure from the house and so I settled down to wait a while before I took the next step. I took out a squashed packet of Marlboro's from my pocket and spent a few moments searching my pockets from my lighter before emerging victoriously with my limited edition Transformers Zippo. I lit up and stretched back across the seat just in case any early bird teachers were to spot me.

I lay for a while after finishing the cigarette, looking at the stained brown ceiling of the cab and pondering my position in life until I realised with a jolt that nearly twenty minutes had elapsed. I bolted up and put my hood up again, ready to face the rain once more.

The parking lot had filled a bit since I last looked; all the cars seemed second-hand and old which again brought a sense of nostalgia to me. At home in Phoenix it wasn't uncommon to see a Mercedes or a Porsche in the student parking lot. The sad condition of the hand-me-down cars just served as another reminder that I was no longer at home.

A glimmer of silver caught my eye as I opened up the cab door to let in a burst of morning chill. It was by far the nicest car in the parking lot, and only a Volvo. I looked around for the owner and spotted a tall attractive blonde leaning against the passenger door. She was talking to another girl, one I only saw when they moved round the other side of the car.

She was a small pixie-like brunette, shorter even than my own 5'4. As if she could sense my eyes on her she whirled around and caught me in her gaze. She smiled at me and one eyelid came slowly down in a deliberate wink. Before I could make any return gesture she was off, disappearing into the flurry of students with ease.

I shook her image out of my head and followed a neat hedge-lined stone path into the office. It was warmer than I expected inside and I immediately removed my outer jacket. There were plants everywhere in large plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough greenery outside. A long desk split the room in half and I could see a women with dyed red hair and glasses seated on the other side, typing furiously on a computer that looked just as outdated as the one on my desk.

I cleared my throat as I approached the desk and the woman looked up with a frown. "Can I help you?" She asked me, her frown turning into a smile when she laid eyes on me.

I gave a nervous smile. "Yes, I'm–"

"Beaumont Swan?" The women interrupted, checking her computer screen.

"Y-yes." I said surprised. "How did you know?" I asked dumbly before mentally hitting myself. I wasn't used to small town gossip; news travelled fast. The juicier the better and what was more scandalous than the son of the Chiefs flighty ex-wife, come home at last.

"We've been expecting you, dear." She said, gathering a small collection of paper from the piles of documents on her desk which she then offered me. "I have your schedule right here, and a map of the school. I highlighted the best routes to take for each class."

I thanked her, surprised at her generosity. The secretary at my old school would rather forsake Botox then go out of her way to help a student.

She licked her finger and sorted through the papers once more. "There's a slip here." She found the paper and pulled it out with a flourish. "You'll need to get each teacher to sign it as you go and then just bring it back here at the end of the day."

I returned her smile and thanked her again.

She looked both ways and leant forward discreetly, I had to lean forward too to hear her next words. "And if I were you dear, I'd invest in some body spray. It's not a good impression to be smelling of smoke on your first day." She said with a conspiring wink.

I left the office with a bright red blush on my face and trying to subtly sniff my clothes, making me the object of several students' confused observations. I took a quick detour back to my truck and doused myself liberally with deodorant.

I glanced at the map before stuffing it back into my pocket; I didn't want to be walking around with my nose stuck in it all day. Building three was easy enough to find, I walked around the cafeteria and lo and behold, it was right there with a large black '3' painted on the eastern corner.

I felt my breathing increase to virtual hyperventilation as I made my way into the class, trying to be as inconspicuous in my hoodie as possible. A student in front of me paused to hang his coat up and I mimicked his actions, regretting letting Cass anywhere near my hair when he stopped and looked over the dyed spikes with amazement.

"Whoa, cool hair!" He exclaimed loudly, a little too loudly as a few students looked over at us. Their mouths dropped when they saw me. I suddenly felt like the freak at the side-show. I blushed tomato red.

"Um...thanks. You too." I muttered automatically before getting a better look at his oily black hair.

The boy held out a hand. "I'm Eric, by the way. Eric Yorkie."

I shook his hand, trying not to let my grimace show on my face as I felt the damp skin. "I'm Beau Swan."

His eyes widened, not an encouraging response, and I turned even redder. "Excuse me." I blurted and made my way over to the relative safety of the teacher's desk. After getting my slip signed by the teacher; Mr. Manson as his nameplate identified him as; I took my place at the back of the class room and settled down for a relatively boring lecture on English topics I'd already covered in Phoenix.

I amused myself in the class, and in the following two, by drawing an elaborate decoration over my arm in my black biro. I wasn't particularly good at drawing but one girl, even shorter than me but with a mass of curly brown hair that made up for the lacking height, gasped and asked if it was real. She blushed when I told her that it wasn't and introduced herself as Jessica Stanley.

Jessica took it upon herself to escort me to the cafeteria, one of the few buildings I actually knew, and filled the silence up with a constant stream of prattle. I gave up on keeping track of her gossiping blurting and settled for smiling and the occasional nod. That seemed to encourage her and she stuck to my side like glue, pulling me over to a table and introducing me to several of her friends, I forgot their names as soon as she spoke them.

I gave up on making conversation and politely excused myself, intending on finding a secluded spot and having a well-earned smoke. Jessica seemed reluctant to let me go but blushed when I told her I would see her later. As I retreated from their table I could hear a series of high-pitched giggles from Jessica and her friends and someone mention my hair.

As I left the cafeteria I passed the short black-haired girl and the model-beautiful blonde from before. They were with three other boys, each as stunningly beautiful as they were.

One was a huge, a body-builder type with dark curly hair. I would have disliked him instantly; he had the look of a jock and I hadn't had a very good track-record – no pun intended – with jocks, if it hadn't been for the large goofy grin he sported.

The next was tall and lean with honey-blonde hair. He was holding hands with the pixie girl. He looked constipated as he laid wide eyes on me. I momentarily wondered if he was a drug-addict. He certainly pulled off the look.

The last boy, lagging slightly behind the rest of them, literally took my breath away. He was more boyish-looking than the other two with a mess of red-brown hair. I instantly christened the colour as 'bronze'. He had a less bulky look than the other two which I immediately liked. I tore my eyes away from him to catch the blonde drug-addict staring at me with an odd look on his face.

I guessed I hadn't been as subtle as I thought in my attraction and blushed, intending to move quickly past them. The blonde tensed when I came closer and I immediately switched directions, walking behind the cafeteria to a secluded looking spot between two buildings.

I pulled the pack roughly out of my pocket with shaking hands and struggled to light up. Something about the blonde had shaken me. When I came closer he looked like he wanted to kill me. I sucked on the cigarette too hard and burst out in a coughing fit.

I was vaguely aware of someone approaching me and swore in my head. Busted. Suspended on my first day; Charlie was going to kill me. I looked up guiltily, expecting a teacher or the red-haired women again. Instead I saw the pixie girl standing in front of me, her face carefully void of all emotion.

"Uh...hey?" I ventured. Her face gave me no indication of her intention. For all I knew she could be filling out her boyfriends mad homicidal wishes.

"You should stop smoking now...while you can." She told me severely. Now that sounded like an omen. A split-second later her face broke out in a smile. "Hi! I'm Alice."

"Beau." I replied. "I'm new."

"Oh I know." Her face assured me that she did indeed know. "Small town, people talk." She replied when I gave her a questioning look.

"Oh." I blushed at my own stupidity, hadn't I been pondering that very thing just before?

Alice suddenly gave me a hungry look. I frowned at her, wondering if I should tell her I was gay. I thought she was with the blonde boy anyway? I drew on the cigarette and exhaled a thin stream of smoke. She stopped looking at me like I was a delicious treat to be consumed and instead wrinkled her nose. I belatedly realised that the smoke had blown downwind into her face. I muttered an apology.

"It's okay," She smiled brightly before she got a dazed expression on her face, staring blankly past me. She snapped out of it quickly offered me a smile. "I have to go, Beau, but it was nice meeting you." She said before dancing forward and pulling me into an unexpected hug.

I was too surprised to hug her back but I don't think she minded. As quickly as she grabbed me she let me go. "I think you and I are going to be _great_ friends." She enthused and turned back the way she came. "Oh, and Beau?" She paused and looked over her shoulder at me. "I take back what I said before; maybe you should continue smoking." With she walked away with a quick loping grace that belonged on a runway. I watched, amazed at her lithe dancer's step, as the bell rang; indicating it was time to return to class.

I finished my cigarette in two quick puffs and grinding the butt into the grass with the bottom of my chuck. Maybe all the Forks girls were weird, but I'd have to keep an eye out for Alice especially.

I sneaked a look at my schedule; I had Biology II with Mr. Banner. I glanced at the map and traced the highlighted path until I was satisfied I knew where I was heading. I doused myself quickly with the deodorant I had stored in my bag and hurried out from behind the buildings, easily blending into the stream of students exiting the cafeteria.

I almost walked into another girl when I entered the classroom. We both back off instantly with sheepish smiles. She shyly introduced herself as Angela and didn't comment at all on my hair for which I was grateful. She was nice and soft-spoken and I liked her immediately. I waved goodbye as I went over to Mr. Banner's desk to get my slip signed.

As he signed the slip I cast a subtle look over the class; Angela had already gone to her seat at one of the black-topped lab tables. She already had a partner, I noticed with regret. In fact, almost all the tables were filled but one. I didn't need Mr. Banner's direction before I made my way to that table.

To my surprise and pleasure, I found that my lab partner was to be Alice's friend; the bronze-haired boy from before. I hoped that I didn't smell too much of smoke as I went to sit beside him. I silently took my seat next to him and took out my pen; I intended to finish my skin artwork before the day was up. I could feel his gaze on me but I kept my eyes carefully focused on the pattern I was drawing.

"Hello," said a quiet, musical voice.

I looked up surprised that he would speak to me. He was looking at me, his dazzling face open and friendly, a slight smile on his flawless lips. "My name is Edward Cullen," he introduced himself. "You must be Beau?"

I wanted to answer him but as much as I tried, my mouth wouldn't form words. Instead I nodded dumbly and turned back to my doodle, hoping I wouldn't blush like an idiot.

He seemed perturbed at my silence fortunately Mr. Banner started the class at that moment so I had an excuse for my rudeness. Not so fortunately the lecture was on cellular mitosis which was again something I'd already studied. Apparently Phoenix was ahead of Forks high in the curriculum. I decided to spent this class daydreaming.

Edward Cullen had other ideas.

He cleared his throat softly when Mr. Banner had turned to the whiteboard to draw a detailed diagram of one of the three cellular structures we would be looking at. I think it was Prophase but I wasn't too sure. I looked sideways at Edward. He gave a smile that made my heart skip a beat and asked me softly. "So, are you enjoying the rain?"

It occurred to me that he was asking about the weather. An innate conversation-starter if I ever heard one. I snorted with laughter.

"What?" He asked me, his perfect lips curving up even more.

"Nothing," I said quietly biting my lip. "It's just...you're asking me about the weather?"

He closed his eyes briefly and laughed a soft, enchanting laugh. "I suppose I am." He admitted.

I had an urge to keep the conversation flowing. Any interaction with this beautiful boy was fine with me. "Well, I don't really like the rain." I told him. "Any cold, wet thing...I don't really..." I trailed off awkwardly, suddenly unsure of what I was saying.

He gave another soft laugh.

"What?" I asked him, feeling the blush beneath my skin that was threatening to make itself known.

"Nothing," he shook his head the smile still on his perfect face. "It's just...If you hate the cold and the rain so much then why'd you move to the wettest place in the continental US?"

The moment broke, I stilled instantly which he picked up on. He hurriedly backtracked. "You don't have to answer that."

I shook my head. "It's okay, just...complicated." I said. Somehow I was feeling a compulsion to talk to this boy. I didn't want to tell him the reason why I left, I wasn't sure if he'd speak to me if he knew my inclinations. Some guys get weirded out by the idea of another guy having a crush on them. I didn't want Edward to stop speaking to me. "My mum remarried." I finally said.

His golden eyes immediately widened in realisation. "You don't like her new husband?" He guessed.

I shrugged. "Something like that." I looked away awkwardly.

Edward had the tact not to continue on that discussion. "Cheer up," He said, clapping a hand on my shoulder surprisingly hard; I could feel it through my clothes. I didn't think he meant to hurt me and I decided not to mention it. "It's not always rainy in Forks."

"No," I agreed with a small smile. "Just about ninety-nine percent of the time."

He laughed again. "Exactly."

"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Mr Cullen?" Mr Banner's voice called from the front of the room.

Edward looked up at him with an innocent expression, looking every inch the perfect student. "No Mr. Banner," he shook his head. "Beau was just helping me understand the concept of the mitosis."

Mr. Banner didn't look convinced. "Somehow I find that hard to believe." Evidently Edward was a good student. Either that or a really bad liar, but with his acting I didn't think that was it. "Have you done this topic before, Mr. Swan?" Mr. Banner turned his attention to me.

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I didn't want to ruin Edward's perfect acting with my abysmal lying skills.

"Humph," Mr. Banner shook his head. He looked like he was going to say more but the bell rang loudly, cutting him off. The term 'saved by the bell' rose in my mind as I gathered my books and slid them into my bag. Edward mirrored my thoughts.

"Saved by the bell." He whispered. He gave me a small wink and smoothly moved out of the room with more grace that I had ever seen in a living person, save perhaps Alice.

I reached into my bag to look at my schedule. I suppressed a groan; I had gym. Bane of my life. At home only two years of gym were mandatory, and I had already tripped through my quota. Here it was four years. Forks was officially my personal hell on Earth.

Well, I thought of my lab partner and his stunning golden eyes, maybe it wasn't _that_ bad.

"Are you Beaumont Swan?" a male voice asked.

I looked up to see a cute baby-faced boy; his pale blonde hair carefully gelled into little spikes. "It's just Beau," I answered.

He nodded. "I'm Mike." His eyes took a now familiar flick up to my head. Anything I might have had resembling potential friendship vanished. "Cool hair," he commented.

"Thanks," I muttered. I picked up my bag and headed to the classroom door.

Baby-face Mike wasn't going to be deterred that easily. He slid into step with me. "Do you need any help finding your next class?"

I wasn't used to such friendly students; in my old school it was every kid for themselves. "I have gym, actually. I think I can find it."

"That's my next class too!" He looked thrilled as if it was a huge coincidence. Being such a small school, I was sure it wasn't. "We can walk together."

It looked like I had no option but to walk with boy-wonder here. Luckily he was like Jessica in the regard that he filled the silence with his own voice, not expecting any sort of response from me other than one-word answers to his pointless questions. "I like your piercings," he pointed to my snake-bites. "Did they hurt?"

I stared at him but it appeared that he was genuine. "Yes, Mike." I said, punctuating every word with sarcasm. "It hurt." I felt bad at being so short with him but I was already feeling ire at the upcoming humiliation session and his incessant talking about my appearance was getting to me. I tried smiling at him but I was sure it looked more like a grimace.

He didn't notice and continued talking to me, I couldn't even escape in the changing room and he lingered uncomfortably close even then. The coach gave me a badly fitting uniform but agreed with me that I should be sitting out of the Volleyball when I managed to give Mike a concussion when I tried to spike the ball. He was on the opposite side of the gym.

The final bell rang at last. I breathed a sigh of relief; I had survived my first day at Forks High. I changed quickly, even though Mike was still in the nurse's office I didn't feel like making conversation with anyone else. I just wanted to get to the relative safety of my house.

When I got to the parking lot I could see that Alice's silver Volvo had already left. I virtually ran to the Chevy and gunned the engine so hard that it spluttered and died, right after giving a massive roar that shocked half the population of Forks High into looking at me. I sunk lower into the seat with embarrassment and started the truck again at a much more sedate pace, praying that it would actually start.

To my relief it did, though even the truck idling was several times louder than anything else on the car park. I didn't care; I just wanted to leave, to spend the afternoon sprawled on my safe bed in my safe room where no one could talk to me or about my hair.

It was only when I had made it to my room and unceremoniously flopped down on my bed that I remembered that I'd forgotten to give the signed slip to the red-haired women. I swore loudly and decided I would do it tomorrow.

_Tomorrow._ It killed me to think that I would have to do this again tomorrow. I would have to deal with Gym, chatty students, girls hitting on me and more comments about my hair. I hated Forks already. I hated not being myself there.

The phone rang; I looked at my cell phone with heavy eyes; it was four-thirty. I toyed with the idea of getting up and answering but my lack of sleep from the other night was pressing on me. Charlie wasn't home and I didn't want to have to get up from my comfortable position to tell the person on the other line that he wasn't here. They would be able to summarise that when no one answered. Instead I closed my eyes and let the ringing of the phone sooth me to sleep.

* * *

_**Another chapter done and I have plans for the next one. Kudos to anyone who figures out why Edward was nice to Beau in this chapter as opposed to being distant and hateful. One thing to remember is that Beau is **_**not**_** Bella. He is Bella as a gay guy and faced different things from Bella, has been treated differently from Bella and, well, he has testosterone Lol. He thinks about sex just as much as any other guy, only difference being that he's thinking about sex with another guy. Anyways, I'm out; I have a Sociology essay to start and then I have to start reviewing for my exams. I'll probably have another chapter out soon, despite that so watch out for it! And Review!**_

_**Let's get one thing straight, I'm not. **_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	3. Poofter

_**Hey guys, thanks for the positive feedback on this fic! You all rock my socks!**_

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

**.Androgynous.**

-

_-Chapter Three-_

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

-

"I'm telling you Cass, this place is like my personal hell." I turned sharply and began to pace in the opposite direction, though admittedly my modest bedroom didn't leave much room for agitated pacing.

Awakening early once again, I'd used the spare time to sneak a phone-call on my mobile to one of the people in Phoenix I could seriously call my friend. I could hear Cass stifle a yawn on the other end as I continued my rant. "Did you know they make you do four years of gym?? _Four!_ What are they trying to do? Death through fitness?"

"Pro-Probably," Cass replied, trying and failing to stifle another yawn mid-word.

I looked guiltily at the glowing digits of my alarm clock; it was a quarter to seven in the morning. I knew that common courtesy would frown on me for ringing so early but I'd wanted to catch her before she started getting ready for school.

My former school, I remembered with a pang. If I was still in Phoenix I would have been able to wait till class to complain to her. But then again, if I was still in Phoenix I wouldn't have anything to complain about. I idly wondered if anyone there missed me.

"And you should see the way they stare at me. You know how I hate attention." I reminded her.

"Mmm..." She hummed either in agreement or boredom, I couldn't tell.

I decided to move onto a topic she'd be more likely to engage in. "And you should hear what they say about my hair."

Instantly she perked up. "Who said what about your hair?" she asked, suddenly sounding a lot more interested in the conversation.

I laughed at her protectiveness. "Nothing much, they just stare at it a lot. Maybe I should change it to something less...conspicuous."

"**Touch the hair and DIE Swan.**" She all but growled at me. "That hair is a masterpiece of hair dye. It's my baby and you will _not_ change it. Do you have any idea how long it took me to get that perfect two-tone effect?? Do you?!"

"I remember," I said dryly. "I was the one sitting there for hours on end while you smeared things on my head and dunked me under cold water every so often."

"Cold water closes the hair follicle and allows the dye to stay in longer." She stated matter-of-fact. "And I bet they're just jealous that you have amazing hair and they have crappy small-town hair which everyone knows is less amazing then hair done by me."

"Ego much?" I teased. "Fine, I won't touch my hair. But that doesn't help in my quest for hair-anonymity"

There was a pause as Cass thought; I could hear her stereo playing Akon in the background. She began humming along to the song.

I rolled my eyes, realising belatedly that she couldn't see it. "You have the worst taste in music." I told her instead.

Her response was to begin singing loudly and obnoxiously. "_Smack that, all on the floor. Smack that, gimme some more. Smack that, till you get sore. Smack that, oh ooh..._" She broke off with a giggle. "Okay, in all seriousness, anonymity, anonymity, what do you want it for anyway? You never had any problem with dressing how you do in Phoenix."

"In Phoenix there were at least a thousand people who dressed the same as me. Here I stick out like..." I trailed off, trying to think of an appropriate simile.

"Like a gay guy in a small town." Cass laughingly suggested.

"Very funny." I told her. "Now help me, _please_."

"It's fully obvious, Lil Beau Peep," She said, calling me by the pet name she'd thought up after consuming half a bottle of Smirnoff. She had thought it hilarious and at the time I agreed. Now, three years on, it was losing its shine. "Dress like a fag and they'll spend all their time looking at your clothes and completely miss you. Tada! Total anonymity."

I gaped at the phone. "Are you _serious_?! _That's_ your suggestion?!"

"Oh come on Beau-Beau," I recognised the cajoling tone of voice she was using. It was the exact same one she used on me when she talked me into getting my lip piercings. "You'd do it if I were there."

"You're not here." I pointed out.

"Huh, true." She started humming again while thinking. Then she cut herself off mid-note. "I got it!"

I pulled the cell away from my ear before she deafened me. "Got what?" I snapped, feeling unreasonably grumpy.

"I'll make you a deal, Peep," She purred down the line at me. "You wear what I choose today and I'll come visit you down...what's that place called again? Something to do with cutlery...?"

"Spoons." I said trying to keep the smirk out of my voice. It worked.

"Yeah, I'll come over to Spoons and visit. Your roots need doing anyway."

"Deal." I told her, ignoring the comment about my roots.

"Fabulous!" She cheered before simmering down to a business-like tone. "Alright then, I choose the leather pants."

I choked on air and launched into a coughing fit.

"You alright?" Cass asked me with mock-concerned. "Breathe much?"

"Shut up," I gasped. I could see in the mirror that my whole face had turned a shade of puce. I coughed a few more times before I was able to compose myself. "I'm not wearing the leather pants around For-Spoons." I said firmly. "I don't even know why I own leather pants."

"Because of your eternal quest to visually tea-bag Phil?" Cass asked innocently.

"That's disgusting!" I yelped.

'You're the one with a pe–"

"Let's not get into this, Cass. Seriously." I was horrified to find that my face was going red.

From the cackling laughter sounding from the phone, I was sure that Cass knew it too. "Fine, you big gay prude. I bet you're going red right now, aren't you?"

I decided not to dignify that with a response. "No leather pants." I repeated. "Choose something else...and no mesh either." I cut in quickly before she could say it.

"Spoil-sport." Cass muttered sullenly. "Oh! I know!" I braced myself as she brightened. "You remember those cute daisy-dukes I brought you for your last birthday for a gag gift?"

I blanched. "No! Absolutely not! I'd rather go with the leather pants." I realised my mistake a spilt-second later.

"Great!" She chirped. "Match them with the 'gay pride' shirt–"

"It's in the wash," I said, feeling vindictively gleeful when she sighed in disappointment.

"Fine, try..." she racked her mind before giving up. "I can't think of anything right now, it's too early. You can choose, but it has to be hot."

I rifled through my wardrobe, digging deeper until I was waist-deep. "A white t-shirt and black blazer?" I suggested, emerging victoriously with the items. I blew my ruffled hair out of my face with irritation.

Cass contemplated for a moment. "Is the shirt a concert one?" She asked suspiciously.

I examined it, squinting at the faded print. "Nope, it's Nightmare Before Christmas."

"Perfect! Wear it, and...your rainbow chucks; we need colour in this outfit. Oh, and add some jewellery; bracelets and what-not." She added as an afterthought.

I gathered all her chosen items and dumped them on my bed. "Anything else?" I asked her, trying to hide the sharpness from my voice.

"...eyeliner. Lots of eyeliner. Oh, and make sure to do your hair like I taught you."

"Yes mother," I complied dully. It seemed strange that I would call her that when even Renee didn't get the privilege.

"Good baby," Cass cooed before saying she growled. "Hold on a tic, Beau," In the background I could hear the angry voice of Cass' mother and Cass snapping back at her. "Because! I'm talking to Beau that's why. No... Don't call him that! Shut up mother."

I awkwardly pretended that I couldn't hear the words being exchanged on the other end. Cass' mother was a volunteer at their local Church and a devout Christian. Naturally we didn't really get on.

"Oh fuck off, you stupid cow!" Cass suddenly bellowed.

I winced, neither my mother nor Charlie were particularly argumentative people and I couldn't imagine speaking to either of them like that. Phil was another story.

"Fine!" Cass yelled before I heard the sound of her bedroom door slamming. "Fuck!" Cass hissed, sounding agitated. "I hate her! God fucking damn it! Stupid bitch."

I murmured in agreement, feeling more and more awkward by the minute as Cass continued to cuss out her mother.

"Okay, I got to go honey," She said finally. "I have school."

"Me too," I said quickly. "And I have to get dressed. Thanks for your help, Cass."

"No probs babe," She sounded almost back to her cheerful self. "Just remember to be true to yourself, baby-cakes. Don't let those Spoons fuckers change you."

I hid my laugh with an obviously fake cough. "I won't, don't worry. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Love you!" Cass sang out.

"Yeah, me too. Bye Cass." I pressed the 'end' button and pulled the cell away from my ear, revelling in the cool relief; the phone had gotten hot from being pressed to my ear for so long. I tossed it onto my bed and reached for the pants. A moment later it began ringing again.

I suppressed a groan when I saw the caller ID; Renee. She would most likely be calling to check up on me. I vaguely remembered the phone ringing last night and wondered if that was her. I hoped it hadn't; my mother would no doubt come to her own conclusions and she had a vivid imagination.

I answered. "Hello?"

That opened a stream of questions. "Beau! Where have you been?! Why haven't you answered? I've been ringing for hours? Are you avoiding my calls?? Why didn't you answer my emails?"

I cut her off mid-stream before she really got herself worked up. "Sorry, Renee. I fell asleep as soon as I came home and I was talking to Cass just then."

"You would rather call your friend than your own mother?" She sounded accusing. It irked me; she had no right to lecture me on putting other people above her. It was her fault I was here after all.

"Cass didn't exile me to Forks, _mother_." I said bitterly.

She was having none of it. "Don't be like that Beau." Then we were back to her. "Didn't you get my emails? I told Charlie to get you a computer so we could keep in touch."

I sighed. "It's ancient. I couldn't figure out how to use it." I lied.

"Oh." Renee sounded blank. "Well what if I wired you some money for a laptop? And some wireless? Phil just got his contract signed to a team in California! He just got a big bonus. We're moving to Jacksonville! Isn't that amazing?" she gushed.

"Sounds great." I said with the non-existent enthusiasm I was able to muster up.

"You could at least be a little more supportive, Beau." My mother sounded accusing again.

"Sorry," I muttered, not feeling sorry at all. "So, Jacksonville. Amazing."

And it was back to the chatty Renee again. I couldn't decide which one I disliked more. "I can't wait! We're getting a little condo, on the beach! You'll love it...oh."

We both froze as the allusion in her words sunk in. My current position was weighing heavily on each of our minds.

I took pity on her and broke the silence which was becoming awkward. "I'm sure I will...Hey, I have to go. I'm going to be late for school." I said even though it was only seven-thirty.

"Oh, right." My mother sounded lost before she snapped out of it. "Of course, school. How silly of me. I'll wire you the money later today, alright? And I expect to hear from you mister!"

Despite our blatantly strained relationship I couldn't help but smile at her words. She almost sounded like her old self, how we used to banter. "Sure, Renee."

"...Beau?" She sounded hesitant. "Was it because of me? Because a woman raised you? That you turned out...?"

I grit my teeth, we were almost on stable ground and she had to bring that up again. "No." I told her curtly. "Goodbye Renee." I hung up but not before hearing her choked sob.

I shoved any lingering thoughts and feelings I had at that moment towards her into a little black box in the corner of my mind. Then I reached for my bag, and the cigarettes within.

I had just grabbed hold of the box when Charlie knocked on my door. I dropped the smokes like a hot coal and tossed my bag into the corner as he entered. "Hey Beau...not dressed?"

I blushed; I'd forgotten that I was still only in a towel, having called Cass right after my shower. "Not yet." To my eternal humiliation I could see that my blush almost stretched full-body.

Charlie evidently noticed this as well for he said his next words without even concealing his smirk. "Alright then. Well I'm heading out, got a call at the station; something about some sort of animal mauling." He scratched his head and hastened to assure me that it was nothing to worry about; a very rare occurrence, at the look on my face. I didn't know why I was surprised; Forks was surrounded by forests...and forests housed animals. Some of them big enough to maul people evidently.

I thanked Charlie for his consideration, my voice noticeably higher. After another long look at me he left, chuckling quietly. I dressed quickly in my instructed outfit and treated myself to a couple of gourmet omelettes for breakfast as I'd missed lunch and dinner the previous day. Perhaps I'd continue this getting up early trend.

I drove my loud red truck, which was still yet to be named, to Forks high school for my second day. I parked in front of the office building again and ran in to give my slip to the red-haired lady whose name, I learn from a plaque on her desk, was Mrs. Cope, with an apology for forgetting to hand it in yesterday.

She waved it off and asked me if I'd had a nice day yesterday...and whether I'd invested in body spray to cover my bad habit. I told her that I had to both, the latter with no small amount of mortification, and made to exit the office. She added, just as I was leaving, that she _loved_ my pants. That was the second time I'd left the front office with a cherry-red blush.

As soon as I got outside I immediately knew I'd made a mistake in letting Cass chose my outfit for the day. While yesterday I was the object of vague interest simply for being the new guy, and maybe some of the blame could be put on my hair, today I had the full attention of the diminutive population of Forks High.

I walked back to the Chevy, trying to keep my head held high and the blush off my face. I felt acutely uncomfortable in my leather pants. My thoughts were cussing out Cass. Why was I friends with someone who makes me wear leather pants?

Immediately I felt guilt; it wasn't Cass' fault. I was the one who brought the pants in the first place, perhaps I had no intention of wearing them outside the house, but I still brought them. And I asked Cass for her help; it wasn't fair to blame her when I should have known what she would suggest.

She was a good friend regardless, my best friend in fact. I didn't mind the leather pants so much when I remembered that by wearing them I was effectively scoring a visit from Cass. I couldn't wait to see my larger-than-life friend in this smaller-than-average town.

I gathered my books at warp speed and continued to my first class, walking as fast as I could without being too noticeable. All along the hallway people literally moved out of my way, I could feel their stares on my back; hear the whispers that followed me through the corridor.

Well Cass was right; they weren't staring at my hair.

Unfortunately my first class was Trig and my seat-mate was the curly haired talkative girl from yesterday. Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped when I entered the classroom. She kept up the comical expression of surprise even as I dropped my bag on the floor and took my seat beside her.

I took a deep breath and counted to five before turning to her; she still hadn't let up on the slack-jawed staring. "Trying to catch flies?" I asked her conversationally, trying for humour. It fell flat but at least she shut her mouth.

"..._Wow_...I just...Wow. Beau, you look..._amazing!_" She gushed, her hand shooting out and stroking me on the arm casually. "Is that how they dress over in Arizona?" She prompted.

I shrugged, ignoring the patterns she was tracing into my arm. I was a little uncomfortable but I didn't want to embarrass her by pulling away. "Yeah, some do...I guess."

"It's _tr__è__s_ sexy." She assured me with a wink. She looked as if she was going to continue but Mr. Varner thankfully started the lesson. I had never been so eager to use the Pythagorean Theorem on a thirty-degree acute triangle in my life.

I ignored the girl's; whose name I learnt was Jessica when Mr. Varner called on her to pay attention, constant sideways glances at me and 'accidental' brushing up against me for the whole period. Just before she left, she winked at me again and told me she'd see me in Spanish.

I wonder if Ms. Cope would let me transfer to French.

The morning dragged on, filled with people staring, whispering and commenting on my appearance. I spent the remaining two classes doodling idly and ignoring the gossip flying around me.

The bell rang for lunch, interrupting an unnamed girl's stumbling speech in halted Spanish. She looked thankful for the interruption and hurried back to her seat. I gathered the papers strewn across the desk and froze; on the paper I'd been drawing on, two glinting golden eyes stared up at me while a mouth twisted in a crooked half-smile.

I cast a quick look around the class, making sure that no one had seen my depiction of Edward Cullen. Then I carefully folded his beautiful face between the pages of my Spanish textbook and slid it into my bag.

Jessica was waiting impatiently for me by the door. I attempted to go in the other direction, intent on sneaking to my secret place and having a cigarette, but apparently she had learnt from my escape attempt yesterday and she hooked her arm firmly through mine and pulled me in the direction of the cafeteria.

She kept her arm looping through mine all through the lunch line making reaching my wallet when I went to pay for both our lunches. I used the excuse for carrying both our trays to get her to let go. She happily praised me for being a gentleman before leading the way to her normal table. I could already see that there would be no escape from this as Angela, Mike and a boy who was later introduced to me as Tyler waved cheerfully.

I immediately took the seat on the end, which also happened to be right beside Angela, much to Jessica's apparent chagrin. She sat next to a blonde with a pointed sneering face, her constant chatter becoming a little more subdued.

I immediately disliked the blonde when she gave me a smirk and introduced herself as Lauren. She then cut to the chase and asked me in no uncertain terms if I was gay. I choked on my Coke as Jessica let out a shriek of laughter. "Don't be stupid Lauren. Beau's not _gay_." Her laughter died down when she realised that no one else was laughing.

Lauren rolled her heavily outlined eyes. "Hello? He's wearing leather pants." She stabbed an accusing finger in the direction of my lower half. "Not that I care or anything." She hastened to assure me. 'I don't have anything against gays or anything; I just wanted to stop Jess before she made a complete idiot of herself chasing after you."

Jessica turned puce. "Oh. My. God. I can't believe you just said that Lauren." She hissed, shoving one pointed elbow into Lauren's side. "I do _not_ like Beau. I mean, he's gay. Right?" She looked at me to prove her point though I could see in her eyes that she wanted me to deny it.

"Guys," Angela's soft voice joined in. "I don't think it's any of our business." I decided then that Angela was my favourite person in Forks.

"Actually," The guy called Tyler spoke up, giving me a look of dislike. "I think I have the right to know if I'm sitting here eating with a queer."

"Tyler!" Several of the girls cried, Lauren and Jessica included.

Mike joined in. "Yeah man, that's messed up." He gestured to me. "I mean, I don't have anything again Beau if he's, you know. Are you?" he asked.

Tyler shrugged. "Hey, it's just how I was raised. No offence or anything, I just think it's wrong." He stood up. "I'm going to go eat with Yorkie." He walked away leaving the table in silence.

I stared at my uneaten meal; I'd give anything to be in Phoenix right now. Even my original coming out wasn't like this, I'd been through school with most of the people who went to my high school and apparently everyone already knew even before I did. Sure I'd experienced people with the same views as Tyler, case in point being Cass' mother and Phil, but I'd always had a group of people ready to defend me. Here I was utterly alone. I felt sick.

'Hey," Angela touched me lightly on the shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah Beau, you shouldn't listen to him." Mike gave me a weak smile which I tried my hardest to return.

"God, talk about melodramatic. We haven't even decided if he is or isn't yet." Lauren rolled her eyes again, this time in the direction of Tyler, sitting with his back to us at another table. He was talking animatedly to his enrapt audience and I could see more than a few eyes flicker to me. I knew that it was going to be school-wide information by the end of the day.

Lauren turned to me. "So, are you or aren't you?"

I opened my mouth to answer but to my surprise Angela cut in front of me. "Oh give it a rest Lauren!" She snapped. By the shocked looks on the faces of everyone around me, even some at other tables, I guessed that Angela didn't raise her voice often.

Lauren looked offended. "God Angela, I was just trying to make it easier for everyone. I mean, everyone's going to be wondering anyway." Thanks to her, I remembered sourly.

"Let them wonder," Mike said firmly. "Beau's our friend now and we're going to stick up for him, no matter what."

"No matter what." Jessica echoed, though her eyes were still fixed questioningly on me.

I mustered up as big a smile as I could manage. "Thanks guys. I appreciate it, really, but I'm just going to go get some air or something." I pushed my tray away and stood up.

"You need us to come with you?" Mike stood up as well.

I shook my head. "I think I'll need a little time by myself. I'll see you in gym though?" I had every intention of skipping gym today.

"Gotcha." Mike grinned at me. "Hopefully this time you won't give me a concussion."

"Ha-ha, watch out." I joked feebly and made my escape. This time no one would stand in my way of getting a cigarette. I craved the nicotine hit that would take the edge off this situation.

I didn't notice someone get up from another table and follow me until a voice called my name just as I was about to turn the corner. "Beau."

I froze as the velvety smooth voice flowed over me. I dreaded turning around; was Edward Cullen, my new crush, a homophobe too? A cool breeze flew over me, cooling my features which had begun to burn when he first spoke my name. I heard a gasp behind me and I spun around, thinking he'd stumbled or something.

An icy hand clamped down on my stomach and twisted as I took in the look on his face which was something akin to hatred. His beautiful features were twisted were twisted up in loathing and his hand had flown up to cover his grimace. His shoulders were tense and he looked as if he'd love nothing more than to run away from me.

Tears pricked my eyes but I swallowed them back. I said the first thing that came to mind when I stared into his revulsion-filled coal black eyes. "...Did you get contacts?" It sounded stupid to my ears and I wished I hadn't said anything at all.

He jerked hard as if the sound of my voice had snapped him out of hostile thoughts. Without looking at me again he strode past, flinching away when the edge of his shirt brushing again me, and disappeared in the direction of the car park. A few moments later I heard the rev of a motor and the squeal of tires. I knew he wasn't going to be there for Biology.

I stood dumbstruck, unable to think of anything other than those hostile, disgust-filled eyes, so unlike the warm butterscotch ones I'd drawn earlier. I felt sick to my stomach and I turned and ran in the direction Edward had gone, heading for the safety of my red truck.

I had grabbed at the door handle when a larger and more tanned hand covered mine. I spun around to stare into a pair of watery blue eyes that were far too close for my own liking, though in my current mood I didn't really notice. "Mike," I muttered. "What are you doing? I'm not going to gym, I feel si–" I was cut off when his lips covered my own.

I stood frozen, too dumbstruck to speak as Mike's lips moved over mine. His skill wasn't bad but it was my realisation of exactly who it was that was kissing me that made me push him away. "What the _fuck_ are you doing?" I spat.

I knew exactly what he was doing. Just as I knew what Lauren was doing when she tried to out me. She wanted me to become her 'GBF'; gay best friend. She wanted a lapdog that would go shopping with her and who she would use to delude herself into believing she was like the girls seen in 'The Hills'. I'd had enough of those fag hags swarming round me in Phoenix not to know one when I saw one.

Mike was sexually curious; he wanted to use me as a Ken doll for him to screw around with so he could figure out his own feelings. I had my fair share of boys walking up to me and kissing me in Phoenix as well. I hadn't appreciated it then and I did not appreciate it now. I had no intention of being someone's little sex doll that they could throw away as soon as they figured out their true feelings.

Mike at least had the grace to look ashamed at him sudden assault. "Sorry, I just thought–"

"That since _I_ was gay that you'd use me as a portable sex doll to figure out your own sexual orientation?" I snapped at him. I was not in the mood for this. All I wanted to do was hide in my bed and ruminate over Edward Cullen.

His eyes lit up. "So you _are_ gay." He leaned over me again, trapping me between him and the cab of my truck. "Would you go out with me some time? Sorry," He scratched the back of his head nervously. "I'm not used to this. Do I ask you like you're the girl? Or is it like a joint decision?"

I stared at him; I wasn't sure whether he was actually being serious or just messing around. But then when he grinned dopily at me I stopped wondering if Lauren, Jessica and Tyler were going to jump out of the bushes and yell 'surprise!'

"And what," I asked icily. "If I don't want to go out with you?"

He looked confused as if this had never occurred to him. "But you said you're gay right? Then what's the problem?"

'I'm gay, not a hooker." I said, speaking clearly as if I were talking to a five year old. "Just because I like boys doesn't mean I like every boy. And let me tell you something, I don't like you, at least not that way."

"But couldn't you help me out with this?" He looked pleadingly at me, seeming even more like a Golden Retriever than ever. "I'm kind of confused here and you're the only gay guy I know."

"If you really want a guy to test your sexuality on then I'd advise either going to a gay bar or hiring a gigolo because I am not going to let you fuck me just so you can figure out your own feelings." I shoved him away from me and opened the car door.

"I can't do that," he whined. "My parent's would find out."

I rolled my eyes and got into the car, starting the roaring engine. "Go incognito then. But it's not my problem. See you tomorrow Mike."

"Oh fuck you, stupid homo." He kicked my door and stormed off. I was sure I'd have another dent in the door. I let it go though, I wouldn't stoop to his level and do something stupid like vandalise his own car.

Instead I just revved the engine and set off home as fast as I could. The encounter with Mike left me wanting the safety of my bed more than ever. I would ring Cass from it and we would go over every single detail of my day. She would make snarky comments about Jessica, Lauren and Mike to cheer me up and would bemoan Edward with me. I pushed down on the accelerator, wanting to put as much distance between myself and Forks High as possible.

* * *

_**Man, I am freaking exhausted. It's about 3am and I decided to write another 4.5 pages to finish. Perhaps you've read it in a previous AN but I have exams on at the moment, just did my Psychology one earlier today (or yesterday) and I decided to quickly finish the chapter before I start studying for my Statistics one (ugh).  
So...who's seen Kristen Stewart's new Joan Jett hair? Who else thinks it utterly rocks? Go her for not taking the coward's way out (read: wigs). Can't wait for the movie.  
Anyways, hope you enjoyed that. It's kind of going slow at the moment; I hope things will go quicker soon with more B/E. My final exam is on the 25**__**th**__** so I'll get to update quicker on my holidays. Review!**_

_**You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks.**_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	4. Flamer

_**Wow, it's been a while. I have excuses, I swear. First (and still) I was hit by this massive wave of crippling writers block. Then I had my heart STOMPED ON. (I hate boys) Then I got swine flu. Then I had about a million make-up essays including but not limited to doing an 800wrd, two 200wrd, a 1000wrd, 2 600wrd and another section on neuropsychology that were all due within about 5 days. Yep. FML. **_

**Yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

**.Androgynous.**

-

_-Chapter Four-_

**yhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisgayhomophobiaisga**

-

Much to my relief, Edward was not at school the following day. Nor was he the day after, nor the day after that. Before I knew it, an entire week had passed without him returning to school. Even though I was grateful I hadn't had to face his hate-filled glare, there still remained a part of me that felt a pang each time I viewed his empty seat in Biology.

I tried to not dwell on it, instead I focused my attention on school and on ignoring the plethora of insults that had suddenly began to fly in my direction, mostly curtsey of Tyler and my brand new hater; Mike.

I used my new found connection with Ms. Cope to get transferred to French, much to Jessica's chagrin. I couldn't find it in me to feel bad once I found that Angela was in my French class.

When the weekend finally arrived I was ecstatic. I had survived my first week at Forks High.

Charlie suggested, as we sat in silence eating the steak I had cooked for Friday's dinner, that we take a trip to the single hardware store in Forks this weekend and buy paint to redecorate my room. He implied that doing a little DIY would cement our father-son bond. I didn't have the heart to refuse, though a sinking feeling came into my stomach at the thought of me around open paint cans.

Charlie promised to let me take the reins and choose any colour I wanted, though I noticed his subtle attempts to steer me away from the more vibrant colours. In the end I chose a midnight blue colour for the walls. The sales lady seemed delighted to have customers and spent a while displaying her interior design skills. We ended up being talked into buying another can of black-out paint with the instruction to paint at least one wall that colour.

We deposited the cans into the back of my truck, I had successfully talked Charlie out of using his cruiser with the excuse that there wasn't enough room in it, and drove to a store specialising in interior design where we picked out a black duvet cover and pillow slips the same midnight blue as the paint.

I haggled with Charlie and paid for half of the expenses. I felt bad leaving him with the price tag for all of it when he was on a policeman's salary and I had quite the nest egg saved up. Renee's money had come through and we made a quick stop to an electronics store that I was sure hadn't been there last time I was in Forks, where I put in an order for a new laptop and a wireless internet modem. I was promised my new computer in a week's time. At least I had an excuse for not talking to Renee until then.

Despite my reservations, redecorating my bedroom with Charlie turned out to be an enjoyable, if time-consuming task. Charlie had retrieved an ancient radio and had it tuned to some kind of sports channel while I took refuge with my IPod. We didn't talk, instead just enjoyed each other's company as we worked together to strip the faded old wallpaper and prepare it for re-painting.

It took the whole weekend to finish the job and on Sunday night I made up the couch with blankets as Charlie opened the window in my room as high as it would go to help the paint dry and shut the door in an attempt to stop the fumes from infesting the rest of the house. He grunted a goodnight at me from the top of the stairs; it wasn't long before his snores were heard even from downstairs.

I lay with my arms folded behind my head on the lumpy couch, staring through the darkness at the cluttering of strange-shaped shadows that were the contents of my room. Charlie and I had placed half of them down here to avoid getting paint on them. The heavier objects were merely covered with a sheet and left in the room.

This weekend had passed too quickly for my own liking and I felt apprehension at the thought of school. I toyed with the idea of not going to school at all, of using the excuse of finishing my bedroom to not go. But the idea of taking the cowards way out didn't appeal to me. I swallowed my trepidation, closed my eyes, and let sleep take me.

I was awoken with a start from dreams filled with golden-eyed gazes by Charlie pottering around in the kitchen. As I sat up he poked his head around the doorframe, a half-eaten bagel sticking comically out of his mouth. He pulled it out and gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry Beau, did I wake you?"

"I needed to get up anyway." I shrugged and grinned back. "And you're as good as alarm clock as any."

I half fell off the couch and stumbled over to a collection of clothing strewn over Charlie's La-Z-Boy and sort through then, grabbing the first shirt and pants combination I could find. My back was hurting from having to reach the low areas on my bedroom wall so Charlie wouldn't have to and I couldn't muster the resolve to care about fashion today. It was only when I emerged from the bathroom fully changed that I realised I'd grabbed my favourite phoenix shirt.

**I don't even think straight **was sure to be a hit with the Forks teenagers. I could look forward to being the freak show once again. Hopefully with the weekend past, the novelty of having Forks High's first 'out of the closet' gay student would have worn off.

Unfortunately not. I was greeted with waves, stares and hellos from the students in the parking lot when I arrived. I didn't know the name of most of them but I returned their greetings as they were sent to me. A couple of people hung back and whispered as I passed by, one was even brave enough to hiss 'faggot'. I ignored them; people like that just weren't worth the response.

The day passed slowly, though not as slowly as it had the previous week. In English we were given a pop quiz on _Wuthering Heights_ which I'd already read several times. The test was easy, though hard to concentrate on as Mike, who sat in the desk behind me, decided to make use of his time by flicking rolled up pieces of paper at my head. He cheered quietly every time he got one stuck in my hair. I felt a vindictive pleasure when Mr. Mason called him up for disrupting the class when one of his cheers was too loud.

To my surprise...and horror, the air was filled with swirling blurs of white when we left the English class. Eric, tagging along beside me, correctly interpreted my expression. "You don't like snow?"

I scoffed. "Snow means that it's too cold for rain." I explained, trying to retreat further into the pitiful warmth my jacket offered. "Besides, I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes – you know, each one unique and all that. These just look like the ends of Q-ti–" I stumbled forward as Mike roughly shouldered his way past me out the classroom.

Eric steadied me and sent a dirty look at Mike. "Try looking at one beneath a microscope." He suggested before eying a pile of snow at his feet. "And let me handle Michael."

I decided to flee the scene before Mike got it into his head that I was the one who threw the snow. "Hey, I'll see you later, okay?" I said to Eric. "Once people start throwing wet stuff, I go inside."

He nodded though kept his eyes on Mike's retreating back even as he bent and gathered a handful of the grey slush. "See you Beau."

I hadn't quite reached the safety of the door before a yell alerted me to Mike's fate. I couldn't help but sneak a glance back at him. He was in a strange position, with one hand held to his dripping head and the other curled in a claw. He was also staring directly at me, his eyes filled with hate and promise of retribution.

It occurred to me that maybe he thought I was the one who threw the snow. I toyed with the idea of going back and explaining to him but the bell rang for the next class and instead I let myself be carried away by the swarm of students bound for the warmth of indoors.

Throughout the morning people chattered excitedly about the snow; apparently it was the first fall of the year. I tried to avoid being drawn into the conversations after it was apparent that my distaste for the cold wet snow would not be taken lightly by my fellow students. Only Angela had enough sense to drop it after the first time I said it. I was beginning to be thankful for whatever deity had put Angela Webber in my life.

As I walked from the French class with Angela in the direction of the cafeteria, trying to use her as a shield against the flying snow which she found hilarious, I spotted Jessica lurking round the entrance; her hands packing a small pile of snow into a ball. I had an inkling as to whom she was waiting for; my reaction to the snow had no doubt reached her ears by now, and I decided to slip along to my favourite smoking spot with a whispered goodbye to a smirking Angela.

The mostly hidden space was empty as usual and I could still hear the loud cheers and screams of those involved in the snow war. I leant against the wall, my back to the entrance, and pulled out a cigarette. I'd had to pull off my gloves so I could hold it properly and it was difficult lighting it with shaking fingers.

I'd only taken my first drag when I became aware that I wasn't so alone in my secret space as I'd first thought. I didn't have time to turn completely before I was shoved back against the wall. The smoke got caught in my lungs and I broke into a coughing fit in an attempt to suck in oxygen. I didn't see the first fist either before it slammed into the side of my face.

Black spots flittered over my vision. "Fuck!" I spat and looked up, breathing heavily at my attackers. My vision cleared just in time for me to dodge as another fist sailed in my direction. "What the hell is your problem?"

Mike glared at me and rubbed his fist from where it had hit the wall instead of my face. "Did you think that was funny faggot?" He spat. "Attacking while my back was turned. Fucking homo thing to do, don't you think?"

"I didn't–" I began protesting but Mike made a gesture and suddenly my arms were pinned on either side of me by Tyler and another boy whose face I didn't recognise.

Mike moved forward until he was right up in my face. "I'm going to teach you a lesson, fairy-boy." He grinned and pulled his arm back again. This time it made contact with my nose, it didn't break it but it hurt like heck. Mike kicked me hard in the stomach and I gasped, winded. "We don't like your kind here, right Ty?"

I gasped again as Tyler's elbow drove into my side. "Right." He grinned. "Forks is no place for fags."

"Fucking fags." The other boy echoed.

Mike drew back his fist once more. "I'm going to fuck you up so badly, Swan, that even your whore mother won't be able to recognise you."

I closed my eyes and steadied myself for the next hit. A hit that never came.

I opened my eyes to see Mike's fist a few centimetres from my face, wrapped tightly around his wrist was another hand, this one almost snow white in colour. The white hand increased its grip and Mike yelped in pain as his hand was forcefully pulled away.

I looked up at my saviour; still panting hard from the cheap shots they'd gotten in before. Edward Cullen of all people stood there casually, his hand still wrapped painfully around Mike's wrist.

"Fuck Cullen! What the fuck do you think you're doing??" Mike yelled; his face still screwed up in pain, his hand was turning blue from lack of blood.

"I could ask you the same thing." Edward answered tightly. "Three against one. That's not fair at all."

With that he increased pressure once more and a loud snap sounded. Mike screamed, his face so white he looked like he was about to pass out. "FUCK!"

Tyler and the other boy dropped me immediately; I fell to my knees on the grass and looked up as Edward turned to them next. "Do I need to tell you to run?"

Tyler and the boy shook their heads wildly and virtually sprinted, half-dragging a moaning Mike behind them.

I was fairly taken aback; for a guy who didn't look like he could do much in a fight, especially compared to his older brothers, Edward kicked butt. I couldn't help but wonder what the Cullen parents fed their offspring.

Edward turned to me with a gentle smile. "Are you alright?" He asked with concern, extending his hand to me.

I stared at it. After enough time had elapsed for the offer to expire, he awkwardly withdrew his hand. "Beau? Are you hurt?" He tried again.

I glared up at him. "What," I started. "Do you think you are pulling, Cullen?"

He had the audacity to look innocently confused. "I'm afraid I'm at a loss as to what you mean."

I shook my head furiously at him and stood shakily, stubbornly shrugging him off when he tried to help me again. "I mean," I pressed. "If this is some ploy to get me to trust you before you turn around and stab me in the back, you have another think coming. I'm not falling for it."

He adopted the confused expression again. I had to admit that he appeared to be a great actor and a flash of remorse shot through me. Then I remembered his hateful expression last time I saw him and how he'd skipped an entire week, presumably to avoid me, and the regret vanished.

"You know what Cullen?" I stabbed a finger into his chest. It felt like I was poking marble. He clearly was more buff than he let on. "You can take all that bull compassion shit and shove it!"

With that I left him standing there with his mouth open, the drama of the situation diminished slightly by the fact I was hobbling.

I had intended to make straight to my car and skip another day, it was becoming a bad habit at this new school, but I was spotted in my injured state by Jessica whose shrill scream alerted practically every person in the school to my predicament. Instantly I was surrounded by a circle of concerned students all of whom gasped with sympathy when they saw my state.

I guess I looked pretty sorry; my face was probably swollen and beginning to bruise in places and my clothes were dirty and my jacket was ripped slightly from where Tyler and the other boy had grabbed me.

Past the sea of concerned faces I saw Edward slip out unnoticed from my secret gap and make his way towards his family who stood in a group away from the rest of the student body. None of them looked happy to see him, in fact the blonde model-like girl literally hissed when she saw him. I didn't get what their problem was. Maybe the whole family were homophobes?

That was logical. I didn't know anything about Mr. and Mrs. Cullen other than hear-say I'd picked up on in the past week. Apparently Mrs. Cullen couldn't have children and so they adopted Emmett, Edward and Alice. Then Mrs. Cullen's niece and nephew were orphaned and so joined the Brady Bunch. All that said about them was that they were kind-hearted and generous people. But I knew that didn't always extend to their understanding of other issues.

I decided not to dwell anymore on it. If they had issues with me than that was their problem – not mine. I'd just have to make an effort to stay away from the Cullen's from now on. Especially Edward.

_**Yeah, I'm just going to leave it there. I'm kind of having major writers block when it comes to fanfiction at the moment. I can barely write more than a sentence. It sucks. Seriously. But I'll try to overcome it for the sake of the readers.  
Oh, and a little note: someone pointed out to me that Jacksonville was in Florida and not California. So, um, whoops. I'm actually a Kiwi so I'm not as versed on the American geography as you...Americans. So in the previous chapter I meant that they were moving to Florida. Okay? Sweet. **_

_**When I was in the military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one...**_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo **_


	5. Pansy

_**I am a bad author and I need to be spanked. ...jokes. Maybe. Anyways, here is the long awaited chapter of Androgynous that has been sitting, half-written in my hard drive for ever. I'm sorry! You know how it is; you get sucked into reading fanfiction instead of writing it. I gave you some B/E goodness to make up for it. Kisses!**_

**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter Five-_

I had headed off to bed early that night with the excuse of a headache when Charlie poked his head in after he came home from work. That wasn't a lie; my head did ache. But there was no avoiding questions the next morning with the evidence of what happened yesterday spread over my face in black and blue.

"I'm not mad." Was the first thing Charlie said to me when I skulked into the kitchen that morning. "And I'm not going to tell Renee. Boys will be boys and she'll blow it way out of proportion if she hears that you've been fighting. Now get something to put on that bruise and sit down, I want to talk to you."

I rifled through the cabinet above the fridge until I found a tube of arnica. Then I sat opposite Charlie and smeared the cream on the tender flesh of my face. I hadn't been able to muster the courage to look in the mirror that morning but I could tell from touch that the bruises had well and truly formed on my face.

"I'm not mad." Charlie repeated. "But I don't like you getting into fights. I'll say that now. More so, I don't like you losing fights, which is apparently what happened here by the looks of your face."

I gave a grunt in agreement. I still wasn't sure whether talking would be painless.

Charlie sighed. "I can't be too hard on you, Beau. I know you're having a tough time here fitting in and God knows I'd been in my fair share of scuffles when I was your age."

Somehow I couldn't picture Charlie the police chief getting into a brawl.

"So I'm going to let you off easy this time. With a warning, as we say down at the station." He laughed at his piece of cop humour. "But that doesn't mean that you don't get off without punishment." He continued. "You're going to school today, I don't care how black and blue you are."

I sighed. I guess I got off pretty easy all things considered. Though I would still have to contend with even more stares and sympathy hugs from Jessica.

Charlie stood and glanced at his watch. "Damn it! I'm going to be late. Hey Beau, can you take care of this for me?" He gestured towards his mostly empty plate. I nodded in acceptance. "Oh, and one more thing," He stopped and turned to me once more. "I'm going to teach you to fight. No son of mine is going to come off looking like that in a scrap." He winked and left. I could hear him collecting his effects in the hallway before the front door slammed and I was alone.

I decided I'd quickly rinse Charlie's plate before heading upstairs to check out the damage. I didn't feel like breakfast and I didn't think I'd be able to eat without discomfit anyway. I sighed again into the silence before I began scraping off Charlie's scraps into the trash.

I felt a sick amusement when I looked in the mirror. It was no small wonder that Charlie had thought I'd been fighting. I hadn't bothered to correct him on that; it was less damaging to my pride for him to think that I'd lost a fight, rather than the truth which was that I hadn't even fought back. The results were clear on my face, painted in a deep purple-black bruise that spread over one side of my face with a matching bruise decorating my nose. With my pale complexion, my face as a whole looked like boysenberry ripple ice cream.

I knew there was no way I'd have even the remotest possibility of covering this up for school. I decided to just throw on a hoodie, grin and bear it. Figuratively of course.

The stares started the moment I left the safety of my truck. I had my hood up much to the general population's disappointment, but there were still even those who purposefully walked right by me just to gawk at my face. I sighed and stared at the ground, hunched into my hoodie and wishing I was somewhere else.

"Oh my god! Beau!" I heard Jessica's scream over the mutterings of the students. I tensed, waiting for 115 pounds of curly hair to hit me with the velocity of a freight train. Instead what I got was a firm but gentle grip on my arm, pulling me away into the nearest building.

I allowed myself to be led through the corridor and into the ladies toilet without complaint. My assailant, or saviour depending on how you looked at it, then turned to face off the two girls already occupying the mirror with her hands on her small hips, looking imposing despite her tiny stature.

"Scat." She told them with an imposing firmness in her voice. The two girls, possibly freshmen by their size, though both of them were taller than the girl in front of me, did as commanded, though they sneaked noticeable stares at my bruises as they passed me.

Alice Cullen sighed in satisfaction as she closed the door behind them and leant on it as if to fend off any future interruptions, though I couldn't see how she would be much of a barrier.

"Do you want to check under the stall doors too?" I tried for a little humour to lighten the atmosphere.

"No need," she said with certainty, "There's no one else in here."

I didn't bother asking her how she knew that. Somehow I didn't think she'd tell me the truth. I decided that now was one of those times where it was best to hold my tongue.

Before I could think of something else to say, Alice was in front of me, so fast I hadn't even seen her move. She stared hard at my face, her gaze lingering especially over the bruised area. I was uncomfortable but not about to say, especially after seeing the way she cleared out the room with a single word.

Alice hummed to herself, apparently ignorant to my discomfit. She lifted her finger and traced lightly over the skin, so light I barely felt it. Finally she nodded, seemingly having made up her mind. "Yes. The Dior 010 Ivory. Yes, that sounds about right. I'd thought so, you see?" This she said to me. "But since I'd gotten such a short glimpse I wasn't sure. So I stocked up, in case I was wrong." She opened her large handbag and showed me; it was filled almost to the brim with jars and bottles of various skin-coloured liquids.

I wasn't sure how one person could have so much make-up. I knew about eyeliner, but this went way over my menial make-up expertise.

"Alice?"

She was already rifling in the handbag, pulling out various bottles. I couldn't help but notice that most of the bottles looked new. I mentally compared our skin colour; she was far paler than me. I didn't know much about this make-up stuff but I knew that whatever stuff she put on my face wouldn't be the same as the stuff she put on hers.

That gave me a slightly queasy feeling in my stomach before I told myself I was being stupid. There had to be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she was carrying around make-up that matched my skin colour. There was no way she would go out and buy that much make-up for someone she'd barely had a conversation with. Some of the names on the bottles I recognised, like Chanel and Dior, and knew were expensive.

"Aha!" She emerged victoriously with a small clouded bottle in her hand. "Now Beau, you just stay still." She said, advancing on me.

I started to back away instinctively before I realised that I was already leaning against the basin, trapped. Alice evidently realised this too because she became smearing the pale liquid on my bruised areas with wicked fervour.

I spluttered, trying to pull my face away. "Alice! Wha– cut it out! Ouch that hurts!"

Alice held my flailing arms quite securely in one hand while her other one managed to continue dotting the liquid all over my bruise despite my head turning wildly to avoid her.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Beau!" She finally snapped. "It's only hurting because you're thrashing your head about. Stop moving and let me do this. You won't regret it, I promise!"

It was only when she shot me a look of such pleading that I finally stayed still and let her paint my face with her cold wet creams. She used a wide variety, the majority going on the bruised areas, and I had time to examine some of the labels when she wasn't guiding my head in various directions.

There was an astounding range. A pottle of something called "mineral powder", a bottle of 'Illuminating Liquid Foundation', a thing that looked like skin coloured lip-gloss which Alice called 'concealer'; I realised I had heard of that one; and the cloudy Dior bottle that Alice favoured to put on my face. I had never realised that girls put so much effort into their appearance.

Despite the range of stuff she had to put on my face, Alice worked swiftly and barely five minutes passed since we had entered the bathroom and she drew back with a look on her face like the cat that had caught the canary.

With one quick move, she had swept the make-up back into her purse and shouldered it. "You'll thank me later." She assured me before making an exit as hastily as her entrance.

I was left in the bathroom alone. I touched a finger to my face; it felt weird and somewhat heavy. I was almost scared to look in the mirror.

But when I did I was amazed.

I looked...normal. Like the fight had never happened. It was a miracle; there was no trace whatsoever of the bruising that had decorated half my face.

Alice Cullen, I decided then, was the most incredible individual I had ever had the fortune to meet.

I wondered if there was the possibility of us becoming friends in the near future. That was, if her family allowed it. I hadn't forgotten that I wasn't that popular with the rest of the Cullen's.

One in particular.

Speaking of my gorgeous bronze-haired lab partner, I realised with a jolt that I was going to be late to Biology as the bell gave its final warning ring.

I rushed into class, interrupting Mr Banner's role call with a hurried apology. He nodded waved me to my seat, adding "Don't make a habit of this, Beau."

I blushed under his reproachful look and hurried to my seat. Edward was already there and if I didn't know any better, I would say that the smirk on his very attractive lips was in response to that. I dragged my eyes away from his lips; and the thoughts crowding my mind of what exactly those lips could do; and quietly set out my things before staring straight ahead at Mr Banner and trying to concentrate on what he was saying.

Edward evidently decided he was going to make it as difficult as possible for me to pay attention. He shifted, and sighed, and tapped his fingers on the desk. Every so often he would look over at me and smirk. I could see it out of the corner of my eye.

It was around when Mr Banner was describing an experiment, which we were set to do in the next biology period, that I gave in and turned to Edward with a resigned sigh. "Do you have ADD, Cullen? Or are you just being irritating for the sake of it?"

His smirk grew more pronounced. "I can't think what you mean, _Swan_." He said, imitating my method of addressing him. "Now if you don't mind, I'm trying to listen to this _fascinating_ speech on an equally _fascinating _experiment." He turned to the front and looked the perfect picture of an attentive student.

I wasn't sure what to say. He seemed to be...teasing me? But at the same time I had misgivings about his intentions. Was he breaking down my guard just to turn around and stab me in the back? I'd had that happen before and I wasn't too keen to experience it again. But on the other hand, if he really did hate gays, as he seemed to a week ago, why did he save me from having the shit kicked out of me. Why didn't he join in?

Edward Cullen was an enigma.

I decided that the best way to figure out what he was thinking was to play along with him. But maybe I'd keep my guard up just in case. There was a small part of me which hoped that what happened a week ago was just a fluke and that he was just pissed at something else. Something that kept him away for a week.

But before I could open my mouth to start a conversation, though I wasn't sure what was going to come out, he interrupted. "I can't see the bruise." He indicated to my face with a confused look on it. "It's still there though."

I answered as simply as possible. "Alice."

"Ah." His face suddenly looked understanding. He leaned closer, though not too close, for a better look. "It's impeccable." He whispered. "You can't even see it."

"Yeah. I guess she'll have a job as a make-up artist if she ever needs one." I shrugged. "She's very skilled."

His face was unreadable. "Yes, Alice has many talents. But I'll be sure to convey your appreciation." In a moment, that indecipherable expression was gone and replaced with a charming smile. I wasn't sure what to make of his rapid expression changes. So I turned to the front and tried again to concentrate. It didn't work so I turned back to Edward. "You were gone." I tried to make it a question but it came out more like a statement.

Edward had another flash of that indecipherable emotion on his face before it closed off. "Yes. I was...out of town. Personal reasons." Clearly he didn't want to talk about it so I backed off. I searched for another topic which was completely unrelated to his disappearance.

"So...Seen any good movies lately?" I asked awkwardly.

Edward looked bemused. The expression suited him, but then again, every expression seemed to suit him. "Movies, huh? That's almost as bad as asking about the weather." Now I _knew_ he was teasing me.

"Almost." I shot back. "Asking about movies isn't as bad as the weather. At least movie preference gives insight. The weather is just stating the obvious."

"True." Edward agreed. The smirk was being replaced with a genuine smile. "Now what movies have I seen...?" He trailed off while thinking to himself. "Ah. The Princess and the Frog."

I almost burst out laughing, if I hadn't reminded myself that laughing would bring unnecessary attention from Mr Banner. "Disney princesses? Not really my thing."

He raised one eyebrow at me. "Oh? Have you even seen this movie? The historical inaccuracy grates for sure, but the music's catchy." He hummed something under his breath. It sounded jazzy. _"If I were a human being, I'd head straight for New Orleans..."_ He sang softly. My heart beat so fast I was sure he could hear it. I didn't see how he could be this good-looking, charming and sound so amazing when he sung. It was...indescribable. He was practically a Disney prince onto himself.

"M-maybe," My voice got caught in my throat and I stuttered. I flushed quickly and a weird look came over Edward's face. I cleared my throat and started again. "Maybe I'll give the movie a try. If it's really as good as you say it is."

"You should." Edward replied confidently. "I have a copy if you would like to borrow it...?"

I shrugged. "Sure." I would never hear the end of it from Cass if I started watching Disney movies. She hated the sexism and the "damsel in distress" stereotype that prevailed in the princesses. I had never really watched enough of them to form an opinion of them myself but after hearing enough rants on the subject, I just decided it was easier to keep my mouth shut.

"So what movies have you seen lately?" Edward enquired after a pause.

"I was thinking of going to see "The Runaways". Kristen Stewart is playing Joan Jett and Dakota Fanning is Cherie Currie. The trailer looked good..." I trailed off, suddenly embarrassed at the intent look Edward was giving me.

"I haven't seen that one." Edward said. "Maybe I'll go see it too."

"There isn't a cinema in Forks is there? I didn't see one when I was in town." I asked.

"No, the nearest cinema is in Port Angeles. The Forks teenagers tend to go there for entertainment." The way he said 'teenagers' seemed somewhat distanced, like he wasn't categorising himself with them. But then again, who would want to group themselves with the likes of Mike Newton and Lauren Mallory.

"Oh, thanks." I said lamely. "I'll have to check that out."

Edward looked like he was about to say something else but the bell cut him off. Around us, everyone started to pack away their things. It occurred to me that I had missed the entire lesson.

"At this rate I'll never pass class if I can't pay attention." I joked.

"I can tutor you if you like." Edward offered. I hesitated so he added. "Or maybe just a study group. It will be fun. We can invite Alice if it makes you feel better. And maybe some of the other people you know? Angela Webber?"

"I thought Alice didn't take bio?" I asked, confused.

Edward laughed. "Don't worry about it. Alice wouldn't mind the studying if it meant she could spend time with you. She's very taken by you." He added with a grin.

That surprised me; I'd met Alice a total of two times. I hadn't realised that she liked me that much. But maybe that was why she helped me out this morning with the make-up. "I like her too." I said simply in response. Then I kicked myself. "As a friend." I added hastily.

Edward grinned at me. "I should hope so. I think Jasper would have something so say about it if you did."

So I was correct in assuming that Alice and Jasper were together. That was...unusual. But then again, if they lived together since they were small but weren't actually related, it seemed logical that strong feelings would manifest. Whatever. It wasn't really my business anyway and who was I to judge?

"Are you two going to stay here all night?" Mr Banner called. I looked up and realised that the classroom was empty and Mr Banner was waiting by the door with an annoyed expression on his face.

I apologised and went to pack away my things. But apparently Edward had already done so while I wasn't looking. He handed me my bag. "See you tomorrow, Beau." He said before walking off.

"Hey Edward," I called before he reached the door.

He turned and looked at me. "Yes Beau?"

I fidgeted. "That study thing..." I started. "I...Okay."

He smiled at me. It made my heart flutter embarrassingly. "Great. I'll get back to you with the details?" Then he was gone and I stood there, frozen for a moment before Mr Banner's pointed cough brought me back to reality.

"Sorry." I said and hurried from the room. I spent the whole ride home thinking of Edward. I almost went into cardiac arrest with the amount of times my heart skipped a beat when I thought of his eyes.

When I got home, there was a box waiting on my front door addressed to me. When I opened it, I found a selection of foundations. The same ones that I was wearing at that moment. There was also a detailed letter of instructions on how to use them. Signed at the bottom was simply '_Alice'_.

* * *

_**Yeah... So this was a little bit delayed. Whoops. In my defence, I am a busy and importantly university student. Also I couldn't be bothered writing. I have a collection of half finished chapters in my computer. Someone send me a review today and it kind of reminded me about this story. **_

_**In other news, Eclipse drops in 2 days in my country. I am somewhat very excited! KYAA! Who else is excited? I also have to see Runaways, like Beau and Edward, it's on my to-do list. I recently got off my ass and watched The Princess and the Frog. Fucking amazing! I loooooved it. I listen to the songs all the time. So let's have a little question: **_**Who is your favourite Disney Princess? **

_**Until next time, my enduring and long-suffering little mushroomies. **_

_**Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? **_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xxx**_


	6. Faggot

**_Oh look, I'm being fast for once. And it's long! Wowzers. Don't expect this too often. I'm a lazy writer and I usually have my hands full with university. I'm a psychology student. You'll be able to tell soon enough. Love ya! BTW, I suck at writing Edward. Apologies. _**

**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter Six-_

I hit the ground hard with the wind knocked right out of me. This was not going as well as I had hoped. By now, my ribs were kind of hurting and I'd had the breath knocked out of me so many times that it was a wonder I could breathe at all.

"C'mon Beau!" Charlie encouraged. "Focus. Try again."

With a grunt of exertion, I pushed myself up and swung at my opponent again. With apparent ease, Charlie grabbed my arm and flipped me over his shoulder.

Again, I ate dirt.

Charlie was already pulling me up while simultaneously lecturing me on where I went wrong. "You lack focus in your punches. You can't just wave your arm around and hope to hit me. You need to focus all that in one neat strike. Try again. This time remember the wrist action I showed you. I don't want you to break your hand."

I gulped in a few breaths of air and tried to think of the things Charlie had taught me. First, keep your wrist aligned with your arm. Second, rotate your fist slightly when punching. Third, punch from the torso straight out. That was my problem; I couldn't grasp the idea of punching straight. I was a right hook kind of guy. Charlie said that was all well and good for movies and bar fights but you lost a lot of the power in the punch that way. Forth, keep your thumb on top of your fist, _not_ inside it. I messed up a lot there too. Finally, throw your whole weight in with the punch. Given my weight was around 100 pounds; there wasn't a lot there to work with.

"Again." Charlie barked at me.

I exhaled and got into position; aligning my body the way Charlie taught me, making sure my thumb was on top of the fist, bringing in into my body before I pushed out with all my strength...

"Did you hit him?" Edward asked later, as we were hanging in his room. I was relaying my first ever fighting lesson to him and he was finding it hilarious.

"No." I shrugged. "That time I lost my balance and managed to make myself hit the ground."

Edward gave a bark of laughter. "Did you hit him at all during that lesson?"

"Yeah." I admitted. "When his back was turned."

Edward winced. "That's bad form." He was still smiling though.

"It wasn't worth the ten minute lecture he gave me about how only cowards fight dirty." I said. The laughter that statement evoked from him however, _was_ worth it. At least in my opinion.

"Remind me not to get into a fight with you." He grinned at me.

I returned it. "Yeah, you'd squash me. I saw what you did to Newton. You have one hell of a grip."

All the laughter suddenly disappeared from his face and I knew I'd hit a nerve. I opened my mouth to apologise but he cut me off. "Let's get on with the study." He said instead, opening his neglected biology book. "So...Beau." I loved how he said my name. "What's the difference between meiosis and mitosis?"

"Oh come on!" I protested. "That question is way too easy."

"Then you shouldn't have any trouble answering it." Edward countered easily.

I sighed and rolled my eyes at him. "Meiosis is the division of sex cells and the daughter cells have half the number of chromosomes as the parent cells. Mitosis is the normal cell division in which the daughter cells are identical to the parent cells." I recited dully.

"Very good." Edward praised. "Gold star." He retrieved something from his bag and fiddled with it for a moment before, quick as a flash; he pressed something on my forehead. His fingers were cold. I felt it, it was plastic and smooth. I grabbed the packet he held in his hand. It was a sticker sheet full of the small gold stars that first grade teachers used.

I looked at him in surprise. "You brought _gold stars_?" I asked incredulously.

The look on his face was pure cheek. "I thought they would be good motivation. " He explained with an innocent expression. "But apparently you know all the answers anyway. This leads me to wonder why exactly we are having this study session." He poked me gently in the side.

I wriggled away from him before he realised how ticklish I was there. There was a smirk on his face which looked foreboding. I answered his question quickly before he got any funny ideas. "I wanted to see your house." I blurted.

He stopped and looked confused. I elaborated. "Since no one in the school has been here, as far as I can tell, I wanted to make sure it actually existed and you didn't all live in a cardboard box somewhere."

The look on his face was priceless. "Well I'll have you know that if we _did_ live in a cardboard box, it would be the box of something high class. Like a refrigerator. Probably a Northland one."

"No lowly Fisher Paykel for you then?" I teased, leaning back on the pile on cushions at the head of Edward's bed.

I liked his bed. It had a headboard made of a deep red wood. I thought it might be oak. It looked kind of old fashioned. I wondered if it was an antique. The bed practically dominated the room, it was that large.

"Perish the thought." He replied. He was leaning against one of the four posts on each corner of the bed. They stretched up towards the ceiling where they met with the large dark gold canopy that covered the bed. I thought that the gold colour almost matched his eyes.

Our banter was interrupted by a knock at the door. Edward's mother, Esme, poked her head in. "Hello Beau." She greeted. "I apologise for interrupting your fun, you two. But I wanted to know if you had any preference in refreshments, Beau?" Edward's mother was beautiful. She had the same warm golden eyes as Edward with soft caramel coloured hair framing her heart-shaped face. With her eye colour, she looked like she could be Edward's real mother.

I sat up. "Anything you have is fine with me, Mrs Cullen." I said, retuning her smile. "I'm not fussed."

I looked at Edward. He shook his head. "I'm not hungry." He said. "Give him a coke or something." He directed to his mother. "And try not to go overboard." He added in a somewhat irritable tone. I was a little surprised with the almost rude way he spoke to his mother but Mrs Cullen seemed to take it in stride. I knew that either one of my parents would flay me if I spoke to them like that.

"Sure. One coke coming up." She smiled at me. "Oh, and Beau honey? You can call me Esme."

"Oh." I blushed, cursing my cheeks as I did so. "Thanks, Esme."

Both Edward and his mother were looking at me with identical peculiar looks on their faces. It occurred to me that they might be reading a little too much into my blush. Once again I cursed my cheeks. Now Edward was going to think I had the hots for his mother.

Esme smiled uncomfortably and left quickly. Edward and I sat in silence for a while; me in horrified embarrassed agony and Edward...well I wasn't sure what was running through Edwards mind. But I was sure I wouldn't like it.

Finally Edward shifted, drawing my gaze to him. He had a serious look on his face that created a sinking feeling in my gut. I opened my mouth to try and explain. "Edward...I–"

He held up a hand, cutting me off. He took a deep breath. "Beau, I understand that my mother is a very beautiful woman."

If possible I went even redder.

"So," he continued. "You understand that I am..._protective_ over her."

I opened my mouth to protest that he'd gotten it all wrong and I had no untoward desires towards his mother at all. But again he cut me off.

"That said, I must ask you..." here he paused dramatically. I could have sworn I saw his lips twitch. "What exactly are your intentions?"

There was a large silence as I processed that. "Um..._what?_"

Edward was full-out smirking at that point. I knew I'd been had. "I mean, are you going to make an honest woman out of her? Provide her with everything she needs? Love her and care for her until death do you part?"

"You...ass!" I threw I pillow at him. He dodged it, laughing. "I can't believe you! I was so embarrassed. Now your mom probably thinks that I have this huge weird crush on her and I'm never going to be able to look her in the face again."

"Don't worry about it," Edward advised me. "She knows you don't mean anything by it. Besides, she thinks you're cute."

"How do you know what she thinks?" I demanded, throwing another pillow at him. He batted it out of the way with a flick of his hand.

"Trust me."Edward said. "I can read my mother well."

"Please," I rolled my eyes. "No one can ever tell what someone else is thinking. Psychology proves that. We can only guess."

The look that passed Edward's face made me think he knew something I didn't. "What are you, a behaviourist now?" He teased. "You know, the early American psychology was dominated by the behaviourists. If you couldn't prove it through stimulus-response experiments then it wasn't considered to be a valid theory."

"So how did we get to where we are now?" I asked, rolling onto my stomach and resting my head on my arm.

"Well this part's actually very interesting," Edward mimicked my posture. "You could claim, that modern psychology in due in large part, to Hitler. After all, the rise of Nazism meant that the Jewish European scholars of the Gestalt field all immigrated to America."

"What's Gestalt?" I asked, mostly to keep him talking. I couldn't get enough of his velvety voice.

"The Gestalt Principal is a theory based off a set of rules on perception. Like; Emergence, Reification, Multistability and Invariance I think are the key ones. They refer to how we perceive objects in our environment. Like, for example. How I can tell that is a CD." He gestured to his wall of CDs. I wasn't sure whether he was referring to one in particular or not. "Even though, from where I'm sitting, it looks like a thin rectangular. Or this," He pointed to the bed. "Even though I'm sitting on it and can't see its whole shape. I can still tell it's a bed by the small bits of it I do see. Understand?"

"Uhuh." I said. I kind of did anyway. "Like 'The whole is greater than the sum of its parts', right?"

"Exactly," I was rewarded with a brief smile before he continued. "Gestalt psychologists applied this theory to the mind. Behaviourists believe that we act the way we do solely because we have been conditioned to do so. Gestalt psychologists believe we act the way we do because that's our personality as well as because of social, emotional, behavioural stimuli. That everyone has a unique perception."

It was kind of obvious that he enjoyed this sort of thing. He was really good at lecturing. I told him so. He brushed off the compliment modestly. "I just find this sort of thing interesting."

"How do you know so much about it? It sounds like you've taken a college course in it."

Edward rolled onto his back and stared at the dark gold canopy that covered the top of his bed. "My family has a love for books. We practically have one of every subject you could think of in the library."

Now my interest was stirred. I sat up. "Really? You have a library? Can I see it?"

Edward laughed at my enthusiasm. "Maybe next time." He picked up the biology book again. "We should continue studying what we're supposed to."

"Hey I can't help it," I said, picking up my own book. "If you keep distracting me with fascinating lectures on Gestalt theory and how if I weren't for Hitler, we would still be stuck with classical conditioning as our main psychological theory."

"Classical conditioning? I don't think I mentioned that one."

I poked his side, it was as hard as rock. "I've heard about Skinner and his lab rats at least. Don't take me for a complete ignoramus." I said, trying to subtly rub my sore finger. "By the way, do you work out? You have abs of steel."

Downstairs I heard someone, I think it was Emmett, let loose a loud bark of laughter. I wondered what the rest of Edward's family were doing down there. Edward looked annoyed and I thought I had crossed a line. But when he muttered something not very complimentary about his brother under his breath, I knew he wasn't angry at me. I began to wonder if Edward wasn't really as anti as I had initially thought. He didn't seem to show any sign of being uncomfortable around me.

Even so, I said. "Let's get back to work. We keep getting distracted." I opened my book on a random page and looked for something I could quiz Edward on. I wasn't sure if there was much point, he seemed quite far ahead in the curriculum. Even further than my old school. I skipped to the end of the book. "Um...Alright. What are the subclasses of the macromolecule Lipids?"

"Fats, phospholipids, sterols and waxes." Edward answered immediately.

I looked down at the book. He's got them all correct, and in the exact order the textbook listed them. "I think I've figured out your secret." I told him. "You have an eidetic memory and you've read ahead. Right?"

Edward looked surprised for a split-second before clapping slowly. "Very impressive." He said. "None of my high school teachers have ever been able to guess. They all think I'm some sort of genius."

"I can't even say I'm impressed with your intelligence anymore." I shook my head sadly. "It's kind of ruined it for me, knowing you're cheating."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Having a good memory is not cheating. It's just helpful."

"It's an unfair advantage." I countered.

"You're just jealous." Edward's lips turned up in a smile. "I can see you turning green as we speak."

"It's on my want-list of neurological conditions." I told him. "Right after Synaesthesia."

"Synaesthesia? You want to taste shapes?"

"Or see music. Or hear colours. I'm not picky." I moved so I was lying beside him. "I just think it would be such a cool thing to have."

"You know, there was a Russian artist called Kandinsky who used his synaesthesia in his artwork. He could hear music in colour." Edward told me. "So he would paint his pictures according to music only he could hear."

"That is so amazing." I sighed. "I wonder if he saw colour when he heard music as well."

Edward shrugged. I nudged him. "Something your amazing photographic memory doesn't know?"

He laughed.

Then I kissed him.

His lips were cold, just like his hand. My own mouth automatically melded around it. For a moment we were frozen in that position. Then I pulled away. But then his mouth was suddenly on mine again and this time his lips were moving against mine. Something sparked to life deep in my stomach and fizzed up, shooting heat throughout my body. I gasped and all too soon his lips were ripped away from mine.

By the time I opened my eyes, he was on the other side of the room. There was a tormented and sickened look on his face. His hands were grasping the wall, almost like he was trying to rip through it to get away. That heat in my stomach flickered out immediately to be replaced by a cold that permeated my body quicker than the fire had.

I touched my hand to my lips. "Edward...I..."

"Get out." His voice was a growl. "Now."

I didn't need to be told twice. My cheeks burning from mortification, I fled. Out of his room and down the stairs. I passed Esme holding a tall glass of coke with a slice of lime and an umbrella in it without a word. His family stared at me as I ran past. There was something in their gazes which made me think that they _knew_ what had happened. I had no wish to be in that house any longer. I slammed the front door closed behind me.

I had just reached my truck when the door closed again. I looked up, hoping to see Edward there but instead it was Alice. She ran to me and passed me my school bag which I had left in Edward's room. As she pressed it into my hands she leant forward and whispered in my ear. "Just give him time." Then she was gone, the front door closing softly behind her.

I stared after her for almost a full minute before I caught myself and climbed into the Chevy. I gunned the engine too hard the first time and stalled it. The second time caught and the truck roared to life. My face was bright red by that point. But, I reasoned, the Cullen's probably already thought I was insane when I ran out of their house without a word. What was one more embarrassment on top of that?

I knew I wouldn't return to that house. Edward would probably tell his whole family what had happened. That was, if they didn't know already. Which, remembering those looks I had received, they just might. Either way, I pushed 65mph leaving the house, much to my big red truck's contempt. It griped the whole way down the driveway until, when the Cullen house was out of view, I slowed down to 45.

It was Wednesday, and my third day of skipping classes. I knew that soon the school would be calling Charlie and I would be in a ton of trouble but at the moment, Charlie's wrath was an easier prospect than facing Edward again. To put it simply, I was being a coward.

I was sitting in a diner which was situated on the road leading to Port Angeles. I figured it was enough of the way out of Forks that no one I knew would see me. I stared at the plate of chilli fries in front of me. Despite ordering, I wasn't in the least bit hungry but in order to stay sitting at the table I was at, I had to order something. So I picked the first item I saw on the menu. I didn't even like chilli fries that much. They always tasted soggy. The only thing stopping me from going at home right now was the thought of Charlie being there to catch me.

So instead I sat there and watched as the greasy cheese and meat slowly permeated the fries.

"Oh my god, could you look anymore pathetic?" A somewhat familiar and not at all welcome voice came from above me.

The owner of the voice slid into the other side of my booth uninvited. I couldn't be bothered mustering up the effort to tell her to fuck off so instead I ignored her and stared intently at my fries again.

"I hope you're not going to eat those." Lauren said, eying the fries with barely concealed disgust. "They look radioactive." The waitress passing by our table gave her a glare which Lauren ignored.

Just to spite her, I picked up a fry and ate it. It was just as soggy as it looked. Lauren looked at me with disgust. "That," She announced. "Was gross."

I shrugged. "What do you want?"

"Why aren't you at school?" She wanted to know. "You've been gone for like 3 days. People are starting to wonder if you caught AIDS or something."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, like the whole schools not talking about the fact that I kissed Edward Cullen." A split-second later I realised what I'd said and who I'd said it to.

Lauren's mouth was hanging open and she was watching me like I was some sort of fascinating insect. "No freaking way! You kissed Edward?"

Clearly he hadn't spread it round the school like I thought. Whoops.

"Well done." Now Lauren was looking at me with new appraisal. "I don't know anyone in the school who's pulled that off. Kudos." Then she gasped. "No _wonder_ he never responded to my flirting. He's totally gay!"

"Maybe not as much as you'd think." I responded glumly. "He rejected me."

"Ouch." Lauren winced and looked at me with sympathy. "Well, he's not that hot anyway."

It wasn't true, but somehow I appreciated her trying. "Yes he is." I sighed.

Lauren shrugged. "Yeah, you're right. He's gorgeous. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Maybe he'll come to his senses and realise that you're the man of his dreams."

I was beginning to like Lauren Mallory more and more. She kind of reminded me of Cass. Maybe what I'd mistook for her trying to get in with the new gay student was in fact, just her being her normal tactless self.

"I wouldn't bet on it." I said. I shoved the fries off to the side; the smell was beginning to make me feel sick. "So what are you doing here anyway?"

Lauren examined one French-tipped nail with a bored air. "Me and Jess are skipping school to do some major retail therapy. She got shot down _again_ by that Mike Newton guy. You know the one?"

I could barely contain my smirk. "Yeah, I know the one."

Lauren looked at me with interest. "What do you know that I don't?" She sat up and leaned towards me. That action meant that I got a good look down her top. Too bad that sort of thing doesn't interest me.

I leant back in response. "What makes you think I'm going to tell you?"

"I can use it to destroy Mike Newton." Lauren said simply. "I saw what he did to you." She stabbed a finger in the direction of my face. The bruises, I knew, were still there though they had faded slightly. "I would have thought you'd want revenge."

I shook my head. "Vindictive revenge has never really been my thing."

Lauren wrinkled her small nose at me. "Too bad." She said, tossing her mane of silky blonde hair over her shoulder. "I'm sure whatever you have is juicy. Call me if you want to share."

"Lauren!" A voice called from near the diner door. Lauren and I both looked up to see Jessica Stanley walking towards us. "Who are you– Oh! Hey Beau. I didn't know you were coming too!" Jessica looked excited at the idea. "I thought you were supposed to be sick or something."

"I'm feeling better." I shrugged.

"No thanks to the chilli fries." I heard Lauren mutter.

"So you're coming shopping with us?" Jessica was looking from Lauren to me with the likeness of a hyperactive puppy. "Because that would be _totally_ cool."

Lauren looked at me. "Why not?" She said. "We can all get a dose of retail therapy to heal our broken hearts."

Jessica looked confused. I raised an eyebrow in question at Lauren. "Tyler." She elaborated. "I know he beat you up and stuff, but he's got a great butt."

"Fair enough." I muttered, standing up and leaving a ten on the table for the fries.

"Oh, so you are coming?" Jessica enthused. "Great!" She lead the way out of the diner with a visible bounce in her step.

"_Great!_" I heard Lauren mimic her. "It's so _great _you're coming, Beau!" She sashayed past me.

I shrugged to myself. What did I have to lose?

* * *

_**Except maybe, the contents of your bank account. It's weird, I never really liked Lauren. In fact, no one seems to like Lauren. So, just to be different, I decided that she could befriend Beau. Somewhat. Beau needs dominant and strong women to beat him into submission. Otherwise he'd never do anything. Also, I put in some B/E loving. Just to hurry it along. I find it so hard to write Edward's character. So he's probably a bit OOC. Sorry. If you guys have any suggestions, that would be muchly obliged. **_

_**Closets are for clothes...**_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	7. Fudgepacker

_**Here's the next chapter. I'm dedicating it to **_**yoyoente **_**for her long and helpful review. Kia ora! **_

**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter Seven-_

_We stumbled into the kitchen, kissing furiously, groping whatever we could get our hands on. Ben was cute. I'd had a crush on him for a while. _

_We'd met at a party that Cass has brought me to and hit it off. We'd talked all night and exchanged phone numbers. The next morning he'd txted me and it went from there. _

_Two days later we met for coffee and by the end of it; here we were, making out in my kitchen. _

_I pulled my mouth away from his. He immediately attached it to my neck instead. "Renee and Phil aren't going to be back for a couple of hours." I moaned. _

_Ben started kissing up the side of my neck. "Who?"_

"_P-Parents." I managed to get out as he nipped my earlobe. _

_Ben grinned at me, I noticed his front tooth was chipped. It made him seem kind of mischievous and made my heart beat faster. "So we have the place to ourselves? Wicked." He kissed my mouth again, this time with more enthusiasm. _

_I pressed him against the bench and kissed back just as hard. My hands acted of their own accord and snaked under his shirt to press against his stomach, rubbing against the hard muscles there. Though I'd never admit it out loud, muscled stomachs were a huge turn on for me. I decided to start exploring a little lower..._

_My hands slid down into his pants and I felt him, hard and hot beneath my hands. He seemed to throb in need and I felt myself beginning to respond in kind. "Fuck, Beau..." Ben hissed in my ear as my hands began to rub him hard. _

_I kissed him in response. My hands moved to dip down into his briefs..._

"**What the fuck is this?**_" _

_Ben and I jerked away from each other immediately. I turned to face my step-father. Phil was standing there with a couple of eco-friendly supermarket bags in each hand. Renee had recently got into her environmental phase and we were recycling and composting to our hearts content. _

"_P-Phil," I stuttered. Ben was looking from me to Phil's rapidly reddening complexion and looked like he wanted to bolt. I wanted to do the same to be honest. "I-I can explain."_

_Phil looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. His face was turning from red to purple and I was somewhat worried about his oxygen intake. He didn't look like he was breathing. _

_Then I heard the sound I had been dreading. "Oh Be-au!" My mother sung out as she swept into the kitchen, holding her own set of eco-bags. She paused as she took in the scene in front of her. Then she placed her bags on the bench and began unpacking them while beginning her customary commentary. "Hi sweetie, I didn't know you had a friend around. I'm Renee, Beau's mother."_

"_Ben." Ben managed to choke out. _

"_So nice to meet you, Ben. Are you going to stay for dinner? Beau doesn't often have friends around, do you hun? It's usually just that Cass girl and –" _

"_Actually, I have to get home." Ben interrupted. "See you Beau." He called behind him as he virtually ran from the room. I knew he wouldn't. So much for my new romance. _

"_Oh." Renee looked perturbed for all of five seconds before she turned back to her bubbly self. "Oh Beau sweetie, you'll never guess the jersey I brought on sale today. This other lady had her eye on it but I totally beat her to the chase, didn't I Phil?" _

_Phil hadn't moved from where he stood, frozen. He appeared to be breathing again and most of the redness had receded from his face. I saw his eyes flicked from me to my mother and felt a strange tightening feeling in my stomach. _

"_Renee." He said. _

_I begged him with my eyes to stay silent. To not finish his sentence._

"_Hmm?" My mother looked up from where she was about to put away a carton of eggs in the fridge. _

_Phil's face was a mask of spite. "Did you know that your son is a faggot?"_

_The eggs hit the floor with a splat. _

...

"Beau...BEAU!"

I started and almost fell off my chair. "What's wrong?" I asked, looking around me in a panic.

"God, could you warn someone when you're leaving the planet?" Lauren asked snidely. "I've been calling your name for like the past five minutes."

"I don't think it's been that long, Lauren." Angela spoke up. She gave me a shy smile. "Besides, I think Beau probably has a lot on his mind."

"Whatever." Lauren shoved a magazine in my face. "Do you think this colour would suit me? I'm thinking of going like a deep red. My mom's stylist says that redhead is the new bombshell."

I blinked at the red blur an inch from my face. "I have no idea." I pushed the magazine away. "Just because I like boys does _not_ mean I have an inherent sense for fashion."

"I think you should stay blonde." Jessica piped up, twirling a strand of curly hair around her finger. "I mean, I don't really think you have the complexion for it. Plus, blonde is like your trademark here in Forks."

Lauren raised an eyebrow at her. "Like I even care what this Podunk town thinks."

"Well, everyone's going to think you're a total fire crotch." Jessica shot back.

I almost choked on my own spit. "A _what?_" Beside me, Angela was blushing so hard she was almost fuchsia.

Jessica beamed at me. "Aww! You're _so_ innocent, Beau." She snatched the magazine from Lauren and passed it to me. "So which colour do you like?"

I picked one at random. "That one." I pointed at a picture of a girl with straw-coloured hair.

Jessica squinted at the picture. "Ooh, it's like a golden blonde. That would go so well with your skin, Lauren!"

Lauren gave me a smug look. "No inherent sense of fashion huh?"

I made a sour face. "Lucky guess."

"Whatever you say." Lauren held a piece of her hair up against the blonde girl's hair for comparison.

My eyes drifted again towards the group seated at the far end of the pitiful Forks grounds. The Cullen's were sitting still, not talking and all looking in different directions.

It had been six weeks since the incident at their house. Which meant it had been six weeks since Edward had spoken so much as a single word to me.

Not that I cared. At all.

My cheeks began to burn with the memory of my disgraceful exist from the Cullen house. Maybe it was a good thing Edward wasn't talking to me. At least I'd have a chance to put that memory behind me.

"Are you alright, Beau?" Angela asked me in alarm. "You look like you're burning up."

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back to catch the cool breeze that was floating around. "It's nothing. Just a heat flash."

"What are you menopausal now?" Lauren took her attention off her magazine long enough to comment.

"Shut up." I told her.

"Yeah Lauren," Jessica echoed. "No one asked you!"

"Ugh, for the last time Jess!" Lauren rolled her heavily outlined blue eyes. "Beau's not going to fuck you, no matter how many times you suck up to him."

Jessica turned a deep red and seemed incapable of words. I felt sorry for her; Lauren seemed to be on an especially bad bitch-trip today. I wondered if she had her period or something. Cass was always especially nasty during that time of the month. I considered buying Lauren a chocolate bar from the cafeteria to see if that would calm her down.

"Lauren chill out, seriously. What's wrong with you lately?" I almost asked if she _was_ on her period. But I knew from prior experience that that would not go down well. My cheek almost started throbbing from the memory of the slap I had received.

"It's Tyler." Jessica supplied for me. "She's just upset because he doesn't pay her any attention. It's why she want to get a new look."

"Oh my god, Jess! Gossip much?" Lauren sent Jessica a withering glare. "Could you maybe _not_ go around telling everyone about my personal life?"

"Sorry." Jessica shrugged. "It's just Beau."

"You know me, just part of the girls." I added sarcastically.

"I don't think she meant it like that, Beau." Angela said quietly.

"Sorry." I told Jessica. "It's just an automatic reaction. Nothing personal."

My apology appeared to have put her in a better mood than she'd been in all day. "Don't even worry about it." She chirped.

"He's not." Lauren muttered under her breath. We exchanged amused glances. "Hey, maybe I should get my tan done again."

"Ooh! Maybe go darker this time." Jessica squealed. "It'll really make your eyes _pop!_"

"Because that's what every guy wants. For his girlfriend's eyes to _pop_." I reached over and closed the magazine. "If you want my opinion, Lauren. Ditch the makeup altogether. What a guy really wants to see is a girl's _real _face. Au natural."

"How would you know?"

"Three years of locker room talk. Here's a dirty secret: guy's gossip too." I winked at her. "And the general consensus is that they really dig the non-make up look."

Both Lauren and Jessica looked thoughtful. Angela, who never woke make up anyway, was looking away. I followed her gaze to an Asian boy sitting alone under a tree. He was reading some sort of comic book but I couldn't see the title. I didn't know the boy well but I was fairly certain his name was Ben.

I looked back at Angela and decided to keep that little piece of information to myself. I didn't want to subject Angela to Jessica and Lauren's teasing.

"Oh, speaking of guys and gossip," Lauren suddenly said. "Is Edward talking to you yet?"

"No." I replied, automatically sneaking another glance over at the Cullen table. This time, however, they were all staring in our direction. Every single one of them.

Jessica was looking at them as well. "It's creepy how they all suddenly looked over here when you said that."

"Can we stop talking about this?" I begged. "I feel like the Cullen have superhuman hearing or something."

Jessica looked positively excited at the thought. "Or like a special Cullen-radar which goes off every time someone is talking about them. That's so X-files. I bet they're all like aliens or something and they've been sent to earth to learn about humans. I mean, they're always so distant from everyone else."

"Maybe they just don't like to be talked about." Angela point out. "I know I wouldn't want to be around people who constantly gossiped about me."

"Or called me an alien." I added, nudging Jessica. She giggled.

"Okay, okay! I just mean that it's weird they never talk to anyone. And they never invite anyone over or anything. Well, except you Beau, but that was just the one time right?"

I winced. "Yeah..."

"Oh!" Jessica looked ashamed. "I'm so sorry. I forgot."

"Don't worry about it." I waved her off.

"Well," She said under her breath. "If it's any consolation, Edward Cullen has been staring at you for about a minute now."

Instinctively I looked up, hoping to make contact with his golden eyes. But, again as if he'd heard her, Edward looked away. For a moment I considered the idea that he could have heard us. But he was at least twenty metres away from us and with the noise of the students of Forks High, it was an impossibility.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face. I hadn't cut it since I had seen Cass last, almost two months ago. The bleached parts were starting to grow out. To be honest, I was starting to get bored of them. I wondered if Cass would kill me if I dyed them blue. Maybe pink.

My musing was interrupted by the shrill call of the bell. Lunch was over.

"We have French next." Angela told me.

I frowned and checked my bag quickly. As I suspected, my French book was not in there. "I need to get my textbook from my locker. Meet you there?"

"I'll save you a seat." She replied with a smile.

I said a quick goodbye to Lauren and Jessica as hurried through the crowd of students trying to get to the various buildings that held their classes. It was at times like these that I thought the way Forks High has been set out was ridiculous. Eventually I wormed my way into the cafeteria to take a short-cut to the hallway.

I exchanged my biology and English books for my French one and went to close my locker door. It was slammed shut for me, missing my fingers by scarcely an inch. I turned calmly to find Mike Newton towering over me, his hand still pressed against my locker.

"Hey faggot." He greeted.

"Hey yourself, Mike." I nodded towards his arm. "You got your cast off."

Mike rubbed his arm self-consciously. "Yeah, no thanks to your faggot boyfriend, Cullen."

"Are you sure you should be calling him names, Mike?" I asked, trying to keep my voice as uninterested as I could. I knew it would piss him off more if he couldn't get a rise out of me. "He did break your arm after all."

Mike's face twisted in fury. "Let's get one thing straight. He didn't fucking break my arm. It was a fracture and he got lucky."

"He did it one handed if I remember correctly. I'd say that's pretty lucky."

Mike shoved me lightly but enough that I fell back into the lockers. "Listen you filthy little fag. If I want your fucking opinion, I'll ask for it."

I regained my balance and stepped forward to look Mike Newton right in the eye. "You do realise that every time you call me 'faggot', you're just holding a mirror up to yourself? Or have you forgotten that little scene when I first came here?"

Mike looked speechless for all of five seconds. Then he grabbed whatever reaction came easiest to him: rage.

He seized my collar and pulled me up till I was balanced on my toes. Then he slammed me again into the lockers and put his face right next to mine. I could feel his damp breath moving over my face. I could even small the nachos he'd had for lunch. The smell made me feel woozy but I wasn't going to lose ground just because of a bit of nausea.

I smirked. "What's the matter, Mike? Is the truth too hard for you to handle?"

Mike snarled into my face. "I swear to fucking god, Beau. If you say even one word to _anyone_, I'll make you wish you were never born. I will make every day at this school a living hell for you. I will–"

Unfortunately I never found out what else Mike would do to me because at that point he was violently wrenched off me. I fell to the ground as he hit the lockers on the opposite wall with a thump and slid down them, groaning in pain.

A pair of Nike shoes were standing in front of Mike's whimpering body. I instinctively knew exactly who it was that had come to my rescue...again.

"If you ever lay a hand on him again..." Edward left the threat hanging. I guess unlike Mike he didn't need to think up lame threats to coerce me with. I guess that any threat Edward Cullen ever made he would be fully capable of carrying out.

Mike was pulling himself to his feet. "What's the matter, Swan?" He taunted. "Can't defend yourself? You have to make your boyfriend do it for you?"

"Don't talk to him." Edward snapped. "Your business is with me now. Not him."

Unfortunately I could see that Mike was right in one respect. I was letting Edward Cullen fight my battles. That didn't sit well with me. Perhaps it was a matter of male pride but I didn't want him to interfere any longer.

"Cullen, stay out of this. Newton's right; this is between me and him. Not you."

Edward turned to look at me. It was perhaps the first time we had made eye contact in weeks. His eyes were as golden as I remembered. Automatically my heart started thumping and my cheeks filled with red. Edward coughed and looked away but Mike had taken that brief moment of distraction as his chance to escape.

Edward and I were alone in the corridor. I looked up at him from where I sat, still learning against the lockers. He was still looking in the direction Mike had left and strangely enough, he appeared to be holding his breath.

"Um...thanks anyways." I muttered. "But I mean it when I say I don't need you to fight my battles. I can do that myself."

"Because you were succeeding so well then." Edward scoffed.

"Hey, I wasn't doing that bad." I immediately went on the defensive. "I had it all under control."

"...your feet weren't touching the ground." Edward pointed out.

"I...whatever." I huffed before picking myself up off the floor. Edward immediately offered me his hand. I pushed it away. "Again, I don't need your help, Cullen."

Edward withdrew his hand and ran it through his hair instead. I watched fascinated and somewhat tempted. I wished I could run my hands through his hair. It looked so soft...

No! Bad Beau!

I suddenly turned and started along the opposite hallway. This was the longer way to French but I figured that I was late anyway. Also, I wanted to avoid walking past Edward.

I needn't have bothered. Almost immediately after I started walking I heard Edward's soft even footsteps walking in the same direction as me. Great.

"What?" I hissed.

"Hmm?" He responded, now walking in sync with me.

"Why are you walking beside me?"

Edward shrugged. "I just wanted to check if you were okay."

"Does this mean you're speaking to me again?" I wanted to know.

Edward laughed. "I was never not speaking to you."

I gave him a look.

"It's just...it's better if we're not friends. Trust me."

I could not get a clearer message than that. It stung just the same.

"Too bad you couldn't have figured that out sooner." I retorted icily. "You should have just let Mike beat me up. Save yourself the hassle of being late for class."

Edward stopped still. I stopped as well and turned to look at him. He looked shocked and almost offended. "You think I would just leave you there? Just let you get hurt like that?" Now he looked a little angry. "Do you really have that low of an opinion of me?"

I felt guilty before I could stop myself. Me? He was the one who completely ignored me for six weeks. Now he was getting offended because I didn't think he cared?

"You know what?" I seethed. "Your mood swings are giving me whiplash."

With that I spun the other way and stalked past him towards my class. Now I had to formulate an excuse for why I was late.

* * *

_**Well I finished this last night. But I was too tired to post it. Whatever. I got the Twilight Graphic Novel out from the library and it totally motivated me to finish the chapter. I love graphic novels, don't you?**_

_**Hateful to me as the gates of Hades is that man who hides one thing in his heart and speaks another...**_

_**Love Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	8. Butt Pirate

_**I'm here! Sincerest apologies. Happy New Year! Explanations down the bottom! Now enjoy the belated chapter! Also, anyone think I need a beta?**_

**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter Eight-_

I dragged deeply on the cigarette, relishing the feel of the smoke being pulled down in my lungs. I wasn't a particularly committed smoker; I usually only smoked when I felt stressed. My throat wasn't completely immune to the slight burn of the smoke as it went down.

I held it for a few seconds before breathing out the smoke; it mixed with the chilled air and created an even bigger cloud. I was on my third cigarette and the air around me was starting to look fogged. I knew that soon the smell and sight of smoke might draw a teacher's notice. But at that moment, I could not bring myself to care. No one would bother to be out here in this temperature anyway. I wouldn't be here myself if I weren't desperate for alone time.

Edward hadn't tried to talk to me since I had brushed him off in the hallway. That was nearly a week ago. I had been practically chain-smoking every since.

He just sat there and watched me with a depressed look on his face. He sent me the looks across the cafeteria and when we sat next to each other in Biology. I considered skipping the class but even though Phoenix was ahead in the course, I had long since worn out my advantage.

A large part of me wanted to talk to him again. Perhaps rekindle the spark of friendship we had begun weeks ago. But with the large elephant in the room that was my sexuality, I wasn't sure how to proceed.

I wasn't sure why he seemed to want to talk again. Especially with what had happened between us at his house. I hadn't forgotten the look of disgust he has given me when I kissed him. How he'd moved to the other side of the room to get away from me. It made me all the more angry at him that he was sitting there, waiting for me to talk to him like I was the irrational one.

How dare he act like I was to blame. He hadn't even talked to me in six weeks and now, just because it somehow suited him, he wanted to be all buddy-buddy again? No way, no how. If I had to wait six weeks, he could stand to wait a few more days. That would give me enough time to think of what to say to him.

I exhaled the last bit of smoke and stabbed the butt out on the grass. I leant over and tossed it into a convenient hole in the side of the building I had found. Recently it had been playing ashtray to my bad habit. I pulled out my cell phone and looked at the time. It was currently half-way through my English class. I decided to sit there and enjoy my solitude before joining the students on their way to next period.

It was a couple of minutes before I noticed her. I cracked open an eye from where I had been huddled in my winter jacket. "Hello, Alice."

Alice, wearing an outfit that looked more fashionable than warm, although it didn't seem to bother her that much, took that as an invitation to sit.

"You haven't talked to me in _ages!_" She pouted. "I missed you."

To tell the truth, I missed her as well. But with her brother being who he was, I didn't see how we could be friends. So instead, I lit another cigarette.

Alice was not to be deterred. "Edward misses you too." She said knowingly.

"Did he tell you what happened?"

Alice shook her head. "He didn't have to. I already knew." I send her an inquisitive look and she elaborated. "I mean I'm his sister. There isn't anything Edward can do that I won't know about."

"That's, um...gratifying to know." I said.

Point against Edward. I wanted to be in a relationship with him. Not him and his sister. That seemed too close for comfort.

Alice grabbed my hand, the one not holding the cigarette, and clasped it between her hands. "I just want you to know," She said earnestly, looking into my eyes. "That I support a relationship between the two of you. I only want what's best for my brother and I _know_ that you're the one." She said this so passionately that I almost believed her. But unfortunately it seemed that Alice lived in a world that was not called reality.

I drew my hand away carefully. "Thanks, Alice. But I don't think there's going to _be_ a relationship between me and Edward. He doesn't even like guys."

"You don't know that!" Alice protested.

"When we, um, kissed," I felt almost too awkward for words telling this to Edward's sister. But Alice nodded for me to continue. "He leapt away from me. Like he couldn't get away fast enough. And the look on his face..." I trailed away, remembering the expression of pure disgust. It was an expression I was unfortunately familiar with. I'd had enough of it directed at me that I knew it when I saw it.

Alice shook her head. "It wasn't that. Trust me. It was...something else."

"Something else?" I repeated. "Can't you give me a bit more to go on than that?"

She looked like she desperately wanted to tell me something but stopped herself. "I can't. I mean, if it were up to me I would but it's not just my secret. Do you understand?" she begged.

I shrugged. I guess I did. I understood that some secrets didn't just rest on one person. That if they were told, they won't just ruin the lives of one person. Obviously the Cullen's had a big secret. Maybe it was the reason behind why they kept to themselves.

"But what I can tell you is that you shouldn't judge Edward. He's doing his best and while I may not...agree with some of his choices concerning you."

"You mean ignoring me for six weeks?" I interrupted.

Alice looked unhappy. "Well, there's that. But he's only doing what he thinks is right and I know that it's frustrating for you but you need to trust him."

I took a moment to think, drawing in the smoke once more. I breathed out. "There's only one problem with that, Alice. How can I trust him when everything he'd done so far has been confusing and hurtful? I feel like I'm his fucking yo-yo or something. That he can toss me away and I'll just come crawling back. I don't think I want to know someone like that."

That part was a lie. I did want to know Edward. Despite my better judgement, I still wanted to be his friend. I want to be more than friends and that bugged me. Since when did I have such little respect for myself? In Phoenix if a guy had been as warm/cold to me as Edward had I would have dumped him without a second thought. Perhaps it was because Forks had such a limited range in terms of eligible guys. My choices were Mike Newton versus Edward Cullen.

I mentally kicked myself. I had to stop thinking of Edward as being an eligible guy. We had more than proved that when I kissed him at his house. But despite knowing that he was as straight as a ruler, I still couldn't shake the fantasies of him and me together. They plagued me day and night and were the cause of more than one cold shower.

Alice sighed. "All I can say is that Edward's behaviour is not what it seems. You should talk to him."

I puffed angrily on the cigarette until it went out. Then I tossed the butt into the hole in the wall. I stood and dusted the frost off myself. "I'll think about it." I told Alice. "But I'm not making any promises."

Alice looked as though Christmas had come early. "You mean it?" She bubbled before gripping me in a hug so tight I almost felt my ribs crack. She was most definitely more than she seemed. "Oh Beau! You have no idea how happy this makes me! I have to go tell Jasper." With that she rushed off in her graceful lope. She was out of sight within seconds.

The bell rang about a minute after her departure. I tossed my cigarettes and my lighter in my bag and doused myself with spray deodorant. I also tossed a piece of gum in my mouth for good measure. Then I joined the students rushing to their next class. I had Trigonometry next and then Biology which meant I had an hour in which to figure out whether to make conversation with Edward or not.

Unfortunately, the time in which I had to make that decision went past all too quickly. By the time the bell rang for next class, I was no closer to deciding what to do than I was at the beginning of class.

So instead I went for the coward's way out.

I skipped. Again.

It really was getting to be a nasty habit. One that I should probably stop soon. That is, if I don't want to get my ass handed to me in detention slips.

But this, I convinced myself, was an emergency. If I had to spend an entire hour enduring Edward's puppy stare I might snap and hurt someone. Probably him. So really, it was for Edward's safety that I was subtly moving in the opposite direction through the throngs of students.

It was as I slipped through the gap between the buildings that marked my secret smoking spot that I realised I wasn't alone. There was someone already leaning against the wall.

_My _wall.

I didn't know whether to feel violated that there was someone in my spot, or to curse the gods that it was the very person I had retreated to my sanctuary to avoid.

Instead I stomped over to the opposite wall and flung myself down onto the frozen ground. I childishly refused to look at him as I rifled through my bag to find my cigarettes. I sure wasn't going to get through this conversation without a healthy dose of nicotine.

"So I guess," I started after several frantic puffs. "That I'm becoming predictable now."

"You've been avoiding me." Edward accused, ignoring my statement.

"Yeah, it sucks doesn't it?" I shot back.

I heard Edward slide down the wall onto the ground. "It does." He agreed. "I'm sorry for that."

I wasn't sure what to say to that.

"And I'm sorry for what happened. At my house." He continued. "It was wrong of me to ask you to leave like that."

I stiffened. "Happens all the time." I said shortly. "Don't worry about it."

I could feel his eyes on me again but I refused to give him the satisfaction of returning his gaze.

"Beau..." He said after a moment.

"What?"

"Can't we be friends again?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Can we?" I tossed the cigarette on the ground. It extinguished with a hiss on the frost. Words slipped out of my mouth before I even registered the thought. "Maybe I don't want to be friends. Maybe I want to be–" I cut myself off before I made an even bigger fool of myself than I already had.

"Maybe what?" Edward sounded inpatient.

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter."

"Please tell me."

"No."

"Please..." I felt him move closer to me. His cool breath fanned over my face making it even more frozen. Despite this, I was starting to feel very warm around the collar. "Tell me."

As if he had ordered it, my mouth opened of its own accord. "Maybe...maybe I want to be more than...friends." I said so quietly I was almost hopeful that he hadn't heard it.

One look at his face confirmed that he had.

His expression tightened. "I can't."

Instantly the warm feeling in my stomach was doused with a bucket of ice. I suddenly felt freezing. It was no wonder; I was sitting on the ice-covered ground. I stood up so abruptly I almost collided with Edward. He didn't seem to lose his balance though, rising smoothly. He stood nearly a foot taller than me.

"Fine, whatever." I said to his chest. "The answer to your question as to whether we can be friends is officially answered. You can leave me alone now."

"Would you let me explain?" Edward sounded a little annoyed.

"I'm not particularly inclined to." I turned to leave but he seized me by the upper arms. It was like being seized by a metal clamp. His hands were so frozen I could feel them through my jacket.

"I'm sorry, Beau. Really. But I can't return your feelings. It's not safe."

"_That's_ what you call explaining?" I said incredulously. "Just tell me straight that you're not interested but don't insult me by making up some bullshit excuse."

"It's not an excuse!" Now he actually did sound annoyed. "I'm sorry that I can't tell you but–"

"It's not your secret to tell?" I interrupted. "Yeah, your sister gave me the same line."

"Then shouldn't that mean something?"

"Considering she's _your_ sister...no."

I knew I was pulling at straws here. But I was sick of the secrecy. I couldn't imagine what horrific family secret the Cullen's had. Perhaps they were gangsters, a crime family like the Corleone's. Maybe Edward's father was the Al Pacino Godfather of the Washington state crime syndicate. Somehow I couldn't imagine Edward's soft-spoken father shanking someone in a dark alley. Or Esme allowing that.

So ruling out crime family, I couldn't think of anything realistic that would stop Edward from...what? Admitting he liked me? That is, assuming he did. At this point, I wasn't sure of anything Edward did. It was starting to piss me off that he was making me double-guess myself all the time.

"I thought you liked Alice?" Edward said. I noted that he still hadn't moved from where he stood, pinning me to the spot.

"I do!" I insisted. "I just don't trust her not to take your side. She's your sister, not mine. Blood being thicker than water and so on."

"We're both adopted." Edward pointed out.

I had almost forgotten about that. It was strange that no one in the Cullen family shared DNA, with the exception of Esme and the twins, yet they all had the exact same shade of butterscotch-coloured eyes. The colour was not one I had ever seen on any human before I met the Cullen family.

Perhaps they invested in similar coloured contacts?

Edward was scrutinising my face. "It's frustrating," he said, "Not being able to tell what you're thinking."

"Such are the limitations of the human race." I told him. "You're just going to have to accept that you will never read minds. It's an impossibility."

Something about what I said made Edward's lips turn up at the ends. "It's a rare talent but I would hardly call it impossible." He said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How many mind-readers do you have on your payroll?" I asked. "True mind-readers mind you, not just people like Patrick Jane."

"Who?" He looked confused.

"Haven't you ever seen _The Mentalist_?"

Edward shook his head. "I don't watch much television. I prefer to read."

I almost smiled. "Me too." I said. "But I am admittedly a fan of crime shows. CSI, Criminal Minds, The Mentalist, Dexter...Perhaps it's a side-effect of having a cop for a father."

"I would have thought that meant the opposite. Nothing about those shows is at all realistic."

"Maybe that's why I prefer them." I shook my shoulders a little to try and loosen his grip but he wasn't budging. "Are you going to let me go anytime soon?"

Edward grinned. "Not at all. I'm enjoying our conversion. I wouldn't want to ruin it by giving you an escape route."

"Your arms will have to get tired soon." I warned him. Despite this, I noted that his grip was just as firm as it was when he first grabbed me. It was like his arms were made out of stone.

He seemed to find this amusing. "Try me." He said.

I struggled hard for a few moments but his arms continued to stay locked around me. I gave up with a huff.

Edward smile grew.

"Oh fuck you." I snarled at him.

"Language." He chided gently.

"I'll mind my fucking language when you let me the fuck go." I told him. "This stopped being funny about two minutes ago."

Edward looked mournful. "I am sorry about this. But this is the only way I can think of to have a conversation with you."

"Do you usually restrain people to have conversations with them?" I demanded.

"No, you're just a special case."

"Lucky me." I groaned. "You realised that you're going to have to let me go sooner or later."

"Fortunately classes will still be in session for another 40 minutes or so." Edward told me cheerfully.

"Whoopty-fucking-do." I deadpanned. "I get to freeze out here for another 40 minutes."

Edward instantly looked concerned. "You didn't mention you were cold." He let go instantly. "Here, take my jacket."

"No," I waved it away. "There's no sense in us both being cold."

Edward shook his head and pushed the jacket onto me insistently. "I don't get cold." He said.

I snorted. "I don't think you can claim that in this weather, Cullen."

Edward smiled and began forcing my arms through the arm-holes. "I'm wearing thermals underneath. I'm warm enough."

"I can feel your hands." I pointed out. "They're like ice." But I took the jacket anyway and unwound my scarf to offer him in return. He pushed it away but I was not to be deterred and wound it round his neck anyway. "Fair's fair." I told him.

He touched the scarf at his neck with a bemused look on his face. "Thank you." He told me. Something in his voice made me think that he meant it.

"Yeah well," I said gruffly. "Don't read too much into it." But I smiled anyway.

Silence elapsed for a moment but it wasn't uncomfortable and for some reason I wasn't running away. Edward was still eyeing my movements edgily as if I would bolt any moment.

"Do you want to go sit in my car?" I asked him. "It's got shit heating but at least it will be better than standing out in the cold."

"We could sit in my car." Edward offered. "Without boasting, my heating is non-shit and it has tinted windows."

"Sold."

As promised, Edward's car, which was the silver Volvo I had seen Alice and Rosalie hanging around on my first day of school, was warm and inviting once we turned the heaters up to full. Edward was fiddling with the radio, eventually settling on a station which played the classics. I didn't mind, I used to listen to the old stuff with my mom. Pre-Phil, of course.

We sat there for a while, just enjoying the feel of the heat blowing through the vents. Well, I was. Edward didn't seem to notice either way. I was starting to believe he really was as temperature-resistant as he claimed.

"Good song." I noted as the station played '_Elenore_' by sixties band _The Turtles_.

"It's okay." Edward said nonchalantly. "I prefer _'Happy together'_."

"You are so mainstream." I told him. "That song's been so overdone; it's practically a cliché in itself."

"Can't beat a classic." Edward shrugged. "There's a reason there are so many covers of it."

"Yeah," I muttered. "It's called'_unoriginality_'."

"It's called '_stubbornness_'." Edward said under his breath.

"It's called '_a difference in opinion_'!" I gave his shoulder a playful shove. It was like hitting a brick wall. I wondered how long Edward spent working out each day. Probably more than he spent at school. I stopped my mind before it started to ponder the existence of Edward's stomach muscles.

That didn't stop my cheeks from going their trademark pink as I pushed the thought away.

Edward looked like he had just swallowed a razor. In a split-second he almost threw the car door open, letting in a gust of freezing air.

"Car was getting stuffy." He offered as I glared at him. "I get headaches if I don't have proper air flow."

I wasn't exactly buying that excuse but I wasn't about to start something with him over it. Instead I turned the heaters up to full and huddled closer to them. It served him right if I completely drained his battery.

Edward closed his door. "Sorry," he said. "I had forgotten that you hate the cold."

I shivered in response.

"It must be a huge change from the winters in Phoenix." He continued.

"That's an understatement." I muttered, trying to realign my body temperature back to the warm. "I didn't even own a winter coat before I came here."

"Hadn't you visited your father during winter?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "I used to visit Charlie during the summer, only the last few years he's been coming up to California with me. I've lived with my mom all my life and she's attracted to the sun like a moth."

Edward laughed at my comparison. "We're the opposite." He told me. "My parents seem to prefer places with bad weather. I think Esme likes the green."

"I could stand to exchange green for sunshine."

"I bet you look beautiful in the sunshine." I don't know who was more surprised at the words, me or Edward. He immediately looked embarrased. It was kind of sweet. Embarrassed looked good on Edward. He wasn't a blusher. But then again, any emotion looked good on Edward.

I felt a little flattered, even if it was an incredibly odd thing to say.

"I don't think anyone's ever called me beautiful before." I said in wonder.

Edward looked even more mortified. "I'm sorry."

I smiled at him. "It's okay. Thank you." I wondered if I would be pressing my luck if I leant over and gave him a kiss on the cheek or something.

Edward made the decision for me.

After a moment of hesitation, he leant towards me to press his lips tentatively against mine.

I had already coached myself to be gentle with him; he was so obviously nervous and maybe a little inexperienced. I didn't want to frighten him away like I had last time. But as soon as his lips touched mine, all self-restraint went out the window.

White-hot fire burned through my veins. My skin tingled all over like small electrical charges were dancing over my body. I angled my body towards his and reached to tangle my hands in those red-brown strands I'd been dying to touch. I pressed my body against his as much as the gear stick between us would allow.

Edward kissed back cautiously, his arms gently touching mine as if he was afraid I might break any second. It made a nice change from other guy's I'd kissed who were just interested in getting as far as possible in as short a time they could.

But when I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him closer, he froze up and gently pushed me away.

"Wait a second." He panted and opened the car door again. He exited the car and shut it again; I guess for my sake. I could see his outline through the tinted window, leaning against the car. I wondered if perhaps I pushed him a little too far. I understood the need to cool off. I wouldn't say no to a cold shower myself.

A few moments later, the door opened again and Edward slid back in. He stood erect in his seat like a statue. I eyed him doubtfully.

"I can leave if you want..." I offered.

He shook his head. "No. Stay. I just..."

"Needed a moment?" I finished. "The good thing about dating guys is they understand the need for a cooling off period."

Edward smiled thinly. "I guess that's one advantage."

I fidgeted with the seat cover. I wasn't sure what to do. He said to stay but all his body language was pointing to being very uncomfortable with me. I decided the best thing to do was to leave him alone with his thoughts. I could imagine the kind of confusion that was going on in his mind right now. After all, I had lived it all before. I knew the hardest part was admitting it to yourself.

I reached for the door handle. "I'm going to go." I told him. He looked like he was going to protest but I held a hand up. "I'll see you tomorrow. In bio." I winked.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

_**Because that seemed like a nice place to end it. Now for the explanations for my four-month absence. First I decided to give fan fiction a rest for a while as I was entering exam territory and I preferred to give my full attention to that. But then, disaster struck! Just a few hours before my second exam, my darling beloved laptop died! Apparently it was a 1 in 100 computer failure...so that sucked. I luckily was able to save my files along with my half-written chapter of **_**Androgynous**_** which I put onto my NEW laptop which I just received for Christmas. (Thank you mummy!) I did at some point try to put up a notice to tell you what happened but my mum only has an apple and for some reason seems to hate apples as much as I do. But I'm here now! And I have gifted you some Beau/Edward to make up for my absence. **_

_**So Happy New Year everybody! I hope this year brings even more glorious happenings than last **__**year! I hope you all have your resolutions. Mine is to actually do things like study and exercise and write and not just think about them. **_

_**How about you? What are your resolutions?**_

_**My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I'm giving them my share...**_

_**Queen Cocaine**_

_**xoxo**_


	9. Queer

_**So I'm here again. Much more quickly than the last time, happily. Remember reviews are helpful. If you don't like something in the story or if you want to see more of something, let me know. Also, if anyone wants to beta for me; I don't always see my spelling/grammar mistakes, that would be grand. Chur!**_

**.Androgynous.**

_-Chapter Nine-_

I was so fucking sick of hearing about the Sadie Hawkins dance.

From the moment the first flyer was plastered to the wall, it was all my girls could talk about. Lauren wondered what dress would show off her boobs the best, Jessica talked incessantly about whether she should ask Mike to the dance and even Angela began to shyly ask for make-up tips. It was enough to drive a guy up the wall.

I made eye contact with Edward across the cafeteria. I flicked my eyes at the girls and rolled them to show how exasperated I was getting. By his smile I could tell he understood me perfectly. He pulled out a chair at the table he was sitting at with his family and beckoned at me to come sit with him. I wasn't sure what to make of that.

I liked Alice alright. But I knew nothing about the rest of his family. I was slightly hesitant to meet them. I couldn't shake my first impressions; that he had a jock, a drug addict and a Barbie doll for siblings.

I mentally smacked myself. I, of all people, should know not to judge based on appearances. I liked Alice. I definitely liked Edward. So the other three can't be all that bad. After all, they were raised by Esme Cullen. After meeting her, I couldn't imagine anyone who had been raised by her could be at all unpleasant.

So I smiled back at Edward and stood to go join him. But before I took more than one step away, Lauren's scarlet-painted talons seized my top and yanked me back.

"Just _where_ do you think you're going? I was in the middle of talking to you." She demanded.

"Um." I stuttered, momentarily flustered. "I was just going to sit...with, um..._Edward_." I said the last part as quietly as I could. Unfortunately, Jessica's ears had super hearing when it came to picking up even the smallest morsel of gossip.

"Edward!" She said, a tad louder than I would have liked. "Edward Cullen? You're going to go sit with him?" Several heads turned in our direction. I felt myself turn pink.

"Yeah?" I muttered, trying to untangle my sweater from Lauren's manicured claws."What's it to you?"

Jessica was still gaping at me as if I was the second coming of McQueen. "But nobody in the history of Forks has ever sat with the Cullen's."

"They've only been here like two years." I pointed out. "That's not much of a history."

"Whatever." Jessica brushed my point off. "This is like a major deal."

"For once she's right." Lauren looked at me in a way that was far too predatory to be appropriate in a high school. "You need to spill. Did something happen between you guys?"

I mimed zipping my mouth. "I don't kiss and tell."

They both squealed loudly. Their high-pitched voices were beginning to make my ears ache. Why any guy would be attracted to that was beyond me.

"Omigod you kissed him?"

Luckily Jessica was in such a state of shock, her vocals didn't extend to more than two tables over. Edward was at least five so I held some hopes that he hadn't heard that. I snuck a quick glimpse at him. He looked like there was something stuck in his oesophagus. The look was mirrored on his brother's and blonde sister. Alice was sitting there with a serene look on her face, watching the events at our table with interest.

Damn that Cullen sense of hearing.

"Oh my god you like so did!" Lauren exclaimed.

I shook my head. "I never said anything about kissing. It's just a figure of speech."

"You totally just looked over at him right after Jessica said that." She pointed out.

"Yeah," I said between gritted teeth. If I had known it was going to be this difficult to get away, I would have just stayed and endured the chick talk. "In the hopes that he hadn't heard what just came out of Jessica's big mouth." I couldn't help it. The embarrassment was making me irritable. "Seriously! Don't you ever think before you speak?" I asked her.

"That was rude, Beau." Angela said quietly. I instantly felt like a dick. Jessica was looking dejectedly at the table.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." I told her. "It's just...now I'm finally friends with him again and I don't want it to get all fucked up with gossip and rumours. I just want a fresh start with this guy."

"I understand."Jessica said. "You should invite him to the beach. We're all going this weekend."

"Yeah." Angela smiled. "It would be nice to hang out with Edward. No one even invites him places. And he's such a nice guy."

"One problem." Lauren said. "Both Mike and Tyler are going. I know you guys have this whole thing going on."

I shrugged. "I don't care about those guys. If they want to hang on to their petty prejudices, that's their choice. I don't have a problem with them being there."

"Yeah, but they might have a problem with you being there. That's the thing." Lauren sighed and rolled her eyes. "This whole thing...I'm just so over it."

"I would rather have Beau there than them." Angela volunteered, giving me a shy smile.

"Agreed." Jessica said. "They're the ones with the problem. If they don't like it, they don't have to come."

Lauren gave me a long-suffering look. "I was totally planning on hooking up with Tyler that night. But whatever. I like you better."

I was touched. Truly. I thought Forks was going to be a Podunk hole. I didn't expect to find such cool friends here. I touched a hand to my heart. "Aww! You guys!"

Lauren looked completely freaked out. "You're not going to start crying are you?" she asked suspiciously.

I send her a deadpan look. "Chill the fuck out. I was joking." I ruffled her hair which made her squeak. "But in all seriousness. I would love to come. I'll ask Edward. Which beach is it again?"

"First beach. It's down on the Indian reserve. The boys there have some serious hotness going on." Jessica informed me. "Like this one guy, Sam something. He's like 99 percent muscle."

I made a face. "Not my type."

Lauren smirked. "Beau likes 'em skinny and pallid." She said, sending a meaningful look towards the Cullen table.

"Speaking of skinny and pallid boys, I better to see mine." I gave them all kisses on the cheek. "See you afterschool. We'll go have coffee and I'll tell you what Edward says about the beach."

Shyly I made my way towards where the Cullen's were sitting. After Jessica's loud declaration, I felt as if every eye in the cafeteria was on me. It was kind of nerve-wracking. Add to that the fact that the Cullen's themselves, with their similar eyes and perfect faces, were somewhat intimidating.

Edward, who had clearly gotten over his earlier shock, smiled warmly and pulled out the chair for me. "Hello Beau."

"Hi." I said quietly. Now that I was actually faced with actually spending time with him in public, I was feeling completely nervous like my every move was being judged. Alice waved at me enthusiastically. "Hey Alice." I said, smiling at her in return.

"Beau, I'd like to introduce you to my siblings. These are Jasper," Edward said from beside me. Jasper gave me a nod of acknowledgement. "and Emmett." Emmett reached over and seized my hand in one of his massive ones.

"Nice to meet you." He said. He gave my hand a shake that reverberated up my entire arm. It felt like he was going to pull the whole thing off.

Edward, apparently reading my expression of pain, leant over and put a hand on Emmett's arm to still it. "Sorry." He muttered to me. "Emmett's a little...enthusiastic."

"It's fine." I said. "Really. No damage done." I gave my hand a little wave to demonstrate. Emmett let out a roar of laughter.

"And this," Edward continued, ignoring his brother. "Is my sister Rosalie." The beautiful blonde girl, who I had seen several times around campus but never spoken to, sent me a look of haughty disdain. Her hand was clutching Emmett's tightly. I wondered if they had some sort of thing going on. Then I wondered whether that was actually legal.

"Um." I offered my hand to her. "Nice to meet you. I'm Beau Swan."

She looked at my hand like it was a poisonous snake. Her perfectly shaped lips curled in scorn. It occurred to me that Edward's sister was a bitch. Clearly my theory about being raised by Esme Cullen was slightly flawed.

As if he was reading my mind, Edward leant in close to me. "Ignore Rosalie. I do." He whispered in my ear.

I jumped when Rosalie actually let out a hiss at that. Like some sort of cat. All the Cullen's suddenly went still and exchanged looks. Emmett let out a huge sigh and stood up. "Come on Rose,' he said. "Let's skip next period."

Rosalie stood quickly, sent one more nasty look at me and stalked out of the cafeteria, Emmett followed her warily. Jasper stood as well. "I'm going to go join them." He said quietly with a strained look on his face. He nodded at me again. "It was nice meeting you, Beau." Then he turned and quickly followed the others.

"Sorry about that." Edward said, looking embarrassed.

I faked a smile. "It's fine. I don't mind." We sat in awkward silence for a moment before Alice suddenly spoke.

"So, Beau. You mentioned something about a beach?"

I grasped on to that change in topic like a lifeline. "Oh, um, yeah! The girls; Jessica, Lauren and Angela I mean; invited me this weekend. They invited you too Edward. Oh, and I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you came as well Alice." I added quickly in case she took offence.

They exchanged glances. "Where did you say it was again?" Edward asked.

"Like, um, first beach...I think it's called? It's down on the Quileute land. I've been there before I think. My dad's friends with some of the locals."

Another exchange of glances.

"I don't think we can make it this weekend." Alice said delicately. "We've kind of got a family camping trip planned."

"Oh." I was slightly taken aback. The Cullen's didn't seem the outdoorsy type. I belatedly remembered hearing something about that though. "That's fine. Maybe some other time."

"Maybe." Edward echoed.

"Like...next weekend!" Alice suddenly said. "Hey Edward, weren't you saying last night about how you had absolutely nothing planned for next weekend?" She poked Edward in the side. I winced on behalf of him; Alice's elbows looked sharp.

Edward looked kind of confused. It was an adorable expression on him. Alice elbowed him again. "Oh, um yeah I guess I don't have anything planned." He said quickly. He looked at Alice with growing suspicion.

"Great!" Alice practically glowed. "So you two can go hang out. Maybe you can take him to Port Angeles, Edward. Show Beau the town. Maybe go out for a nice meal somewhere..._romantic_." She said the last word under her breath but I still caught it. Her intentions suddenly became clear and I felt myself blush. I was being set up on a date by my crush's sister. Was there anything less appealing?

I didn't want to look at Edward. I was afraid that he would feel suddenly shoved in a corner and start to back away from me again. So I quickly backtracked. "That's fine, Alice. I don't need to–"

"That sounds great."

I almost choked at hearing that. I snuck a look at Edward who was grinning at me. "Pick you up at two?" He inquired innocently.

"I, um, y-yeah. Sure." I stuttered. "Great."

I couldn't help the smile that was pushing its way onto my face. I was going on a date with Edward. In public. A real date. Holy. Shit.

Edward was smiling as well. My heart fluttered at the sight. I was kind of starting to disgust myself but I couldn't help it. We sat there grinning at each other with Alice looking between us with a self-satisfied look on her face.

* * *

There was probably no greater joy in life, than that of a latte on a cold winter's afternoon. I was sitting with Lauren and Jessica; Angela had gone home straight after school to babysit her younger siblings, in the only cafe in Forks that actually knew the difference between a flat white and a latte.

A couple of weeks ago, sitting at the diner Charlie had been having his Friday dinner's at since my mother left, I had made the mistake of trying to order a latte. The waitress, whom Charlie knew by name, stared at me and asked if I wanted my coffee white or black.

This cafe was hardly a step up from the diner. But at least they made a decent cup of coffee. And what were possibly the best brownies I had ever tasted. I was currently on my third.

"You're going to get fat." Lauren told me.

"Sorry," I said, between bites. "But I have a male's metabolism. Which means I can eat as much as I like and never get fat."

They both stared at their low-fat drinks with morose looks on their faces.

"I'm on a diet." Jessica said sadly. "I need to fit into this dress for the dance."

"Why don't you just forget about the dieting and just buy a different dress?" I asked.

They both looked horrified.

Sometimes the female mind escapes me.

"Mike still hasn't asked me to the dance." Jessica absently twirled a swizzle stick around her cup. "It's been like two weeks since we hooked up at that party."

"I thought the point of a Sadie Hawkins dance," I said. "was that the girl is supposed to ask the guy."

"Oh yeah." Jessica looked thoughtful, which I thought was a weird expression on her. "I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Do you want to be my date, Beau?"

I choked on my coffee. That question came completely out of the blue. I looked incredulously at Lauren who was tapping her nails on the table, waiting for my answer.

"But – _what?_"

She didn't look impressed by it when it came.

"I thought you were going with Tyler." Jessica looked as disturbed as I felt. "Besides, Beau doesn't like girls that way. We've like already established that."

Lauren looked annoyed. "I know that. I mean as like friends or whatever. People do that you know."

"But what about Tyler?" Jessica pressed. "Are you trying to make him jealous?"

"Yeah," I joined in. "Is this another one of those hard-to-get things?"

"He's going with..._Michelle_." It looked like it physically pained Lauren to say that. I searched my mind for the name Michelle. Nothing came up.

"Who?" I asked.

"Some total _skank_ from Port Angeles High." Lauren spat. "He apparently met her when we went bowling last weekend. He got her number when I was in the bathroom."

"Wait-_Wait_-" I interrupted. "Weren't you saying at lunch that you were going to hook up with him at the beach this weekend?"

"So? I'm not going to now."

"But when did you find this out? I saw you at lunch and right after school and you didn't have classes with him this afternoon."

"God Beau, stalk much?"

I rolled my eyes. "I only know because you were complaining at lunch about how you were going to have to wait till tomorrow to ask him to the SH dance."

"I was not _complaining_." Lauren looked outraged. "And I found out from Tina Underwood in the girls bathroom when I was reapplying my lip-gloss before chem."

"How did this Tina Underwood person find out?"

"Her sister was in the bowling alley with her boyfriend when Tyler gave the girl his number. Her boyfriend goes to PA high so he knew who Michelle was. So then Tina's sister got her boyfriend to ask his friend Sarah to ask her if it was true that she was going to the dance with him and she said it was." Laurens shrugged like this was no big deal.

It sounded like the gossip network was more complicated than I had ever imagined. I shuddered to think of how easily news of my relationship with Edward could travel to my mother.

Jessica was also looking non-impressed by the power of the grapevine. "How many calories are in one of those brownies?" She asked, eying my half-eaten one.

"Like five million?" Lauren shrugged.

"You shouldn't live your life around how many calories are in something." I told her. "If you want a brownie, go eat a brownie. In fact, I'll go buy one for you right now."

"No!" Jessica practically yelled. "I mean, I need to be able to fit into my dress. Don't tempt me."

"You should stop chasing after Mike Newton and just date someone who doesn't care about what you weigh. Then you can eat as many brownies as you want."

"No," Jessica looked at me like I'm a moron. "Then when he dumps me I'll end up a fat loser."

"Already half-true." Lauren joked. Or at least I think she was joking. Something I had come to realise was that sometimes when Lauren said something really horrible, she was just trying to be funny.

"Oh shut up." Clearly Jessica had come to this realisation as well.

"So you never gave me an answer on whether you'll come to the dance as my hot date." Lauren toyed with the edge of my sweater. "We can get you a jacket with a trim that matches my dress. But I warn you, I have high standards when it comes to corsages."

I pulled my arm away. "Sorry. As much as I love the idea of marching around like your colour-coordinated pet poodle, I have plans the weekend of the dance."

They both gaped at me. "You made _plans_? Why?" Jessica looked like I had just murdered a small fluffy creature in front of her.

"As soon as the first pink flyer hit the wall." I confirmed. "There was suddenly a great deal on plane tickets to Phoenix. Non-refundable. How unfortunate."

"So you're going to visit your family? I thought you hated your mom." Jessica said in a somewhat tactless way.

"Hate is a strong word. It's more like strong resentment."

"Isn't she about to pop soon?" Lauren asked.

"She's about seven and a half months. So not for another month or two. Besides, I'm not going to Phoenix to visit my mom. She lives in Jacksonville anyway. "

"Well who are you going to visit then?" Jessica wanted to know.

"My best friend Cass." I said with a smile. I was looking forward to this way more than I ever would for a stupid dance. "While you spend your night dancing in ridiculously high foot-torture devices, I'll be partying it up in an actual city."

"That actually sounds way better than the dance. I'm so jealous." Jessica sighed.

"Whatever. Hurray for Beau." Lauren muttered.

"Don't hurt yourself with that enthusiasm." I mocked. "I'll bring you a souvenir."

"Well, if you can't actually come with me, can you at least go dress shopping next weekend with us in Port Angeles? We could really use a guy's opinion."

"Sorry, struck out again." I shrugged. "I'm a popular guy."

"Why? Got to fly out to Michigan?" Lauren bit back.

"No..." I tried to hide my smile and act casual. "I've got a date."

"With who?" Jessica looked like the suspension was going to kill her.

This time I outright grinned. "Who do you think?"

"No. Way. No way!" She shrieked.

Lauren looked impressed. "How did you manage to pull _that_ off? I thought you said he was totally straight."

"Apparently not." I couldn't help smiling. Every time I thought of Edward since lunch, I felt like my face would split in two. During English, we'd spent the whole time exchanging glances and smiles at each other. My heart felt like it was working half-time from all the beats it was skipping. I was well and truly crushing.

Then a truly horrifying thought hit me. I was telling this to two of the most gossip-hungry girls in Forks High. And after hearing Lauren's tale of how easily her boyfriend's infidelity got back to her, I was kind of spooked.

"Can you guys maybe not mention this to anyone?" I asked them suddenly.

"Why?" Lauren wanted to know. "Everyone already knows you're gay."

"It's just..." I trailed off and played with a spoon. "Edward's kind of new to this and easily freaked out. I don't think he's ready to go public yet. Sometimes it's like he doesn't even know what he feels. I just think until he's comfortable, we should have a close-door relationship. Take it slow."

Jessica flung her arms around me. "That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard any guy say!" She exclaimed. "You're so romantic."

Of all the words I'd been described with, romantic was not one of them. "Well, I really like him. So I'm going to try hard not to chase him away. I've had that experience before with 'in the closet' boys."

I'd had my share of boys, from flamboyantly flaming to still in Narnia. But there was just something about Edward. He was unlike any boy I'd ever seen before. I was determined to keep him. Even if I had to restrict the PDA to his bedroom or the privacy of his car. Hopefully soon he'll be comfortable enough with me to go a little further. I hoped that his agreeing to a date was a signal that he was.

* * *

_**I'm just going to end it there. Because otherwise I'll start dripping into other scenes I want to save for next chapter. Also I think that ending line was a nice note to finish on and I can't be bothered thinking of another way to end the chapter. So, Beau and Edward are going to go on their first date. Perhaps at a certain Italian restaurant. I don't have the book with me; I think it's in storage, so I can't be entirely certain on the dates of things. They're probably out. But whatever, I doubt anyone actually cares**_**_. By the way, did anyone else have change all their alert settings to disable? And does anyone know a way to get back all the story alert I've missed over this past month? FML. _**

**_For a long time I thought I wanted to be a nun. Then I realized that what I really wanted to be was a lesbian._**..

**_Love Queen Cocaine_**

**_xoxo_**


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